14 followers. Take that Jesus.

It's a long walk back to myself.

The view

Is

Breathtaking.....

Just realized that I didn't buy any of the four lighters I found in my jacket.

Sorry, I'm that asshole.

My husband gives me lady boners.

Whoever says "live life like there is no tomorrow" never had to explain a dead hooker and a lower back tattoo the next morning.

In the summer men look forward to seeing women in tank tops and booty shorts but women live in fear of the man in cargos and sandals.

Feels like another bushmills and bong kinda night.

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.

Laughed so hard tonight listening to @zakmcdonald @patcoppolino and @cliffalus !!
YOU GUYS ARE HILARIOUS!!

I'm fragile, in the non breakable form.

Just discovered you can access twitter from a desktop and not just your on phone.

In other news, I just found out desktops still exist.

This is something unrestrainable.

If you want to know the true beauty, look through the eyes of a blind man.

#ff kings and queen of podcasts @joerangutan @spoiledsoda @postalpoet @frankcannarella @izzyrock73 @mish_the_dish @raytaylor @justinking1

Hello. Is it me you're looking for?....

I'm thinking about buying a miniature pony.

Thanks mom and dad for never taking me to Disneyland... My dreams have never grown past a 7yo.

Alright everybody, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Live life clearly obscured.

@raytaylor @spoiledsoda @mish_the_dish @postalpoet @theizzyrock CANADA REPRESENTS!! http://t.co/JhrTW9Hx

@theizzyrock @spoiledsoda @postalpoet @mish_the_dish new eps DL and ready for my ride home from work. Inspired Disorder = less road rage!