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period sex is really awkward and uncomfortable and weird mostly because of the 17th century costumes
i identify as a dingus please don't use the word dingus derogatorily
imaging RTing in real life, standing in a bunch of people and someone says something funny then everyone starts saying it over and over.
a book called "how to get laid when you look like this" the cover is a mirror, inside it is 240 pages of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
prank: replace the whole inside of avocados with wasabi
a dog barked and then a car alarm went off. don't steal that car dog
if you beat up a gay person you can go to prison for impersonating a police officer
"luke... help me take... this mask off" <Luke takes off Vaders mask, it is Violent J> "I was christian... the whole time... "
sorry we can't shaqcept your shaqlication, you shlaq the prerequisite shaqsperience
read my glob, listen to my globcasts, watch my globiovlog, floblow me or glibber, glib my glabb
open your mind, more, more, wait that's too much you'll start believing in homeopathy or something weird
gonna follow my dreams, today I'm going to find a skeleton to make out with then make all my teeth fall out then get into a fight with a pig
barkeep, a pint of your finest cognac and a straw please
Ash Ketchum accidentally catches himself in a pokeball, the horrible saga of slavery and torture finally ends #whitesaviorselfdestruct
eugenics: kill everyone that isn't called Eugene leaving a perfect race of Eugenes.
i'm not like most men <opens mouth, snakes crawl out>
it's okay i can make butt jokes some of my best friends are butts.
important wank formula: (<current age> - <age started jacking it>) x 365 x <times a day you jack it>
check out my new minimalist post-dancehall track <6 minutes of nothing but airhorn>
Violent J turns inside out, revealing another identical Violent J #whitesaviorselfdestruct
PHOTOS http://brandyneat.tumblr.com/ STUPID SHIT http://howtodrawadog.tumblr.com/ MUSIC http://wolfacid.tumblr.com/