@abqryan's (Ryan) most faved Tweets...
I love those signs that tell me my speed, especially when they flash, it's like they're applauding my driving.
Just because your car physically fits between two other cars does not mean you have to put it there.
I don't like halloween. There are too many screaming and running kids and mean parents telling me that streaker is still not an ok costume.
I was starting to really get into that dancing penguin movie, then the damn light turned green and the SUV turned the wrong way.
It seems you all have stopped staring my tweets. Thanks for taking away something that made me feel a bit better about my sad, pathetic life
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It should be illegal to back into a parking space if you have no reason to and it's going to take you five tries.
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I never understood the dilemma of the chicken and the egg. Dinosaurs had eggs millions of years before there were any chickens.
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Happy thanksgiving to everyone in America! (for the international followers please enjoy your regularly scheduled Thursday)
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Wheel of Morality turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn. Today's lesson is: Avoid the plague like, well, like the plague.
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Language tip for the day: 'Axe' is a sharp tool for cutting or to use as a weapon. 'Ask' is when you pose a question to someone.
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I'm not wasting money. Buying and peeing on these pregnancy tests will pay off when one comes back positive, either by lawsuit or reality TV
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And my sister just ran by wearing only panties telling us to ignore the streaking lady, thanksgiving is officially complete.
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Accidentally sleeping in and being late for family functions is a great way to start any holiday, right?
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That jerk in the coca-cola van gave me a dirty look. Doesn't he know I was raising my pepsi can just to say hello?
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I just worked "of course that would be fundamentally the same technology as a transporter" into a conversation. I am nerd, hear me roar!
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Wheel of Morality turn turn turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn. Today's lesson is: Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
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