@abrevi8's (Rowan Pettett) most faved Tweets...
It's nice to be organized, but when you bump into two people from your "must kill" list on the same day, a little spontaneity is fine.
Whoever said you shouldn't kick a person when they're down failed to address the risks associated with kicking someone who's still up.
Some children at the park were crying because they hadn't seen any meteors. So I threw rocks at them.
Twitter is where I waste my time and creativity trying to prove I'm smart and funny to all you guys who are doing the same dumb thing.
You Americans think you lead the world, but it's already the 5th of July here in Australia.
TRY TO KEEP UP, PEOPLE!
TRY TO KEEP UP, PEOPLE!
Pro-Tip: If your parents are always criticizing you, ask them if the problem is bad genes or bad parenting.
It's taken me 25 years but today, finally, I'm in perfect shape. This Santa suit fits me like a glove.
Just figured out that my top 5 followers have a total of 1,354,481 people following them. Working on a cool Amway presentation for them now.
If fifteen years of using the Internet has taught me anything, I certainly can't remember what it is.
Just invented an awesome Smart Helmet that increases my intelligence by 250%! But now my wife wants the colander back. [SOB]
My mother-in-law adored her husband, so I thought it would be great to bury her alongside him. But my wife wants to wait until she's dead.
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