Yes, I am a nerd. If this bothers you, remember I'm also a borderline sex addict who doesn't mind you playing video games or watching ESPN.

Who the fuck is Siri?

Going to Six Flags with the bf's brother & sister. Problem? The older one is such a fucking princess, & it looks like he started early today

I really want to be something burlesque themed for Halloween.

I wonder if ppl would still be complaining about not getting laid if all their Twitter friends lived in the same town as them.

Sitting in the bf's parents' living area and I just realized ... I think this is their play room.

Oh guys, I need help getting away from this youtube-cute-kitty-vids train.

So if you become twitter-famous, you become rich enough to buy a new family once yours finds out how fucked up you are, right?

You guys have enough troubles with your real wives, why in the fuck would you want a virtual wife too?

I need a taser.

I don't believe these sensa commercials for one moment.

So if someone followed my last account doesn't follow my new one, am I correct in assuming they didn't want to follow me in the first place?

Bath time! Time to relax :) #bubblebathtweeting #nakedtweet

In pretty sure the thing strapped to this guy's minivan is some sort of spanking platform.

Thank you everyone who is refollowing me, and all my new Twitter friends, too! I feel so loved <3

It's so much easier to tell guys I can't date them because I have a boyfriend than to tell them I don't want them spanking me.

When the professor takes forever to start a test, I become paranoid I'm going to forget everything.

At this point I would not be surprised if someone told me they used the Mayan chart of Venus as a model to foretell the return of the McRib.

I need to go work out, but I really don't want to take off this outfit.

Swamp rat sausage, people? Really?