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  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    I can't decide if I like Danny DeVito more in Batman Returns as Penguin or on Jersey Shore as Snooki. Is there any role this guy can't play?

    • 614
    • FAVS
    TheChickWithThenattylumpo88atanenhaus_tattooxGeauxSaints79OHMYJADmackinthecheese__grantmeawishh
    • 436
    • RETWEETS
    GeauxSaints79mackinthecheese__LukeAccardolee__elyse__Big72DawgchiveadelphiaVikeeysSecretinsiwj
    AristotlesNZ__
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    It really sucks when you're about to fall asleep and you see a centipede in your room and you have to get up and move out of the state.

    • 390
    • FAVS
    TheChickWithTheGeauxSaints79OHMYJADmackinthecheese__grantmeawishhKingRainheadZatvomanAredubbleyou______
    • 189
    • RETWEETS
    Maybe_Tumorrowameo02BourbonHabitLameTeacher______efasheefaa________BlondiethegoodJyllayneRossmaryjaneswifey
    LicoriceNipples______jer_bare__________
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    About to finish my second book of the day!

    And when I say book, I really mean magazine.

    And when I say magazine, I really mean pizza.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    semplesaraMaynani__________redpawn3scott_towelpeterjames48TheTennisPhenomGeauxSaints79grantmeawishh
    • 146
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyscott_towelpeterjames48anatashablakelyDaveyDagzworthgyang333akwright02Snoozeroony
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    You know what they say: Once you go black, you're a single mom.

    • 394
    • FAVS
    ellie_littrel99ryanlee8201TheChickWithTheGeauxSaints79mackinthecheese__grantmeawishhZatvomanr_rumsey
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    AdreannaCotryanlee8201TheChickWithThemackinthecheese__IorekB92Adriana_geraci____Aredubbleyou______BourbonHabit
    viagraaddictionSeanInCypressStuffZacLearned
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    It's cool when you're at the mall with a girl and she "just needs to stop in a store for a second" and you end up moving in and dying there.

    • 262
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__KingRainheadsk_sophiaJessikaJordantruefelicity______LushBrit__________virginkilla12Cpin42
    • 128
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyLushBrit__________KristinxDianeJebMaylotmuniera_kmochanyaAllymaybinbrogan_mcarthur
    navesssa
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    And then, I had to sobbingly confess to my dietician that I ate my food journal too. :(

    • 237
    • FAVS
    KingRainheadmickybloreJessikaJordanLushBrit__________virginkilla12Cpin42JVarsityCaptainjazmasta
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    JessikaJordanclemwin__________itspat78ZingingCutieeriftihsPE_adventurestrhbrts19BlairLoudly
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Remember girls, 3 meals a day keeps the cute boys away.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    TheTennisPhenommackinthecheese__KingRainheadJessikaJordanLushBrit__________BlairLoudlyCourtneyAskarex_dugo31
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historymackinthecheese__CourtneyAskDanielram814snapperdoo________Quinnmay92____DickPunchernssuits
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Does this chloroform smell funny to anyone el

    • 121
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__KingRainheadLushBrit__________BlairLoudlyimcalebtefasheefaa________kyle_thatisallBlondiethegood
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    Ferreesley__vasant_iyerPirstenKohlmanmockersofshoes____ParentpainsElectroBeaterfavstar1000favsenragedpaige
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Hey Rihanna, if finding love in a hopeless place is anything like eating alone in the Arby's bathroom handicapped stall, we should talk.

    • 155
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__grantmeawishhKingRainheadSWAGner923shaynebc1aperinedelicatelittle24HourBitching
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    mackinthecheese__PowderLegendtonyhackett6____dallassims________MalloryMullenix__backyardslutEagle_VisionBarkingAnus
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.

    • 100
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__JessikaJordanLushBrit__________Cpin42BlairLoudlyCourageDRCourtneyAskBigBec43
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    Nevil1950mackinthecheese__favstar1000favsCourtneyAskkelseywagsterTessaLeilynjoshUCONNAlyssaNicole66
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Where in the world did black guys get the idea that Gone in 60 Seconds is the sequel to Knocked Up?

    • 176
    • FAVS
    JessikaJordanLushBrit__________jazmastaBlairLoudlyefasheefaa________kyle_thatisallBlondiethegoodcazzawndruh
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    BlondiethegoodTheGrimKingOglalaRedCYComedycharliedelta7kitzahphrenicDerekHoffman1acrowndown
    cheriogaleus
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Sometimes your tweets are so funny that I star them in my head and verbally RT them later because comedy is hard and my whole life is a lie.

    • 145
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__KingRainheadtruefelicity______LushBrit__________GiddythefuckupCpin42secondbacchuserinjabrocki
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    LushBrit__________xmengerypantsclemwin__________BlairLoudlyjeffporperPSoporiFICkyle_thatisallBlondiethegood
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Whatever, real friends don't judge each other's needlessly complicated fast food orders.

    • 167
    • FAVS
    KingRainheadJessikaJordanLushBrit__________Cpin42BlairLoudlyefasheefaa________Blondiethegoodcazzawndruh
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    LushBrit__________nora_azizkessyyaaJooryZoghby______TheGrimKingMerulaSunscaffoldjockyPajamaJunk
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Just drove past a gym and had to pull over to catch my breath.

    • 73
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__KingRainheadJessikaJordanLushBrit__________CompocolypseArinLeeMorrisSemFittyZedRebel
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    redwingfan9ZedRebelBourbonHabitDan63301Maturity69MSalazar27Just_some_girl2Favstar500Favs
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Me: I'm just saying, you only get to see Danny's room in one, MAYBE two Full House episodes.
    Waitress: That's great, we closed an hour ago.

    • 84
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__JessikaJordanLushBrit__________BlairLoudlyefasheefaa________BlondiethegoodTheDairylandDonParentpains
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    classic_megzTHC_1983charliesgonenowcharliedelta7kyle_thatisallAmandaEdithJay1972Jayhallucid
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Paranormal Activity 3 wasn't even THAT scary.

    Now, if someone can give me a hand turning on every light in the city, I'd like to go to bed.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__JessikaJordanLushBrit__________GiddythefuckupBlairLoudlysexlessinthectyPSoporiFICschrader_d________
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    PSoporiFICkyle_thatisallkelsbodeJason_Chowning_goldieeelocks____hamymesatacazzawndruhTheGrimKing
    TheGrimKing
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Trust me, I'm probably like 10,00x worse at math than you are.

    • 120
    • FAVS
    mackinthecheese__JessikaJordanFarrahSamyPolar3DLushBrit__________BlairLoudlyefasheefaa________kyle_thatisall
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    LushBrit__________JooryZoghby______SasssPantsfavstar1000favscharliedelta7girlwithsomethowafflecakezMakeYourBedlam
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    I'm sorry, you guys. I accidentally dropped some silverware into my garbage disposal and now Skrillex has enough material for 7 new albums.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    OrvllShrednbchrJiminyKicksItSasssPantsmysisterisadishOBiiieeee_sleepysmilej_luce3psychotropict
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    SasssPantsmsaini86________TommyKarate______ChrisMichelle77Madrose911thedeetwentyredkedabo________brittaniandrews
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    Girls, never take your boobs for granted; without them, guys might actually start listening when you talk and you'd undoubtedly die alone.

    • 36
    • FAVS
    OrvllShrednbchrSasssPantsOBiiieeee_sleepysmileHotlinkStrahotacanazn_73________ShesAllNatCheeseboy22
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    SasssPantsHotlinkStrahotaShesAllNatclaire_mudieBold_BlondeDoms__Mom________cookiesnweedMickSnark
  • adamallday
      adam @adamallday

    There are two types of people in the world: People who'd stop whatever they're doing to watch Spaceballs and hey! Spaceballs is on! Cool.

    • 86
    • FAVS
    LushBrit__________efasheefaa________kyle_thatisallBlondiethegoodParentpainsDinaElGeweliladyfiredancerSasssPants
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    charliesgonenowthedeetwenty1017ANDREWstillborn86RuddFactorAmberR49Reverend_ScottFavstar500Favs
@adamallday

@adamallday

instagram: adamallday DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH