I feel like acting like a bigoted fuckhead on the weekend. Anyone know of any gatherings of stupidity being organised? #ReclaimAustralia

#TIDALforALL Don't give your hard earned cash to a wealthy CEO, give it to a wealthy CEO who also happens to know how to rap.

Idea for a casino where you gamble with $1 coins stored rectally. It's called 'Bet Your Bottom Dollar'.

Ironically no one's profile picture is a picture of them side-on.

"You can't buy friends".
"Money talks".
If you're rich but have no friends, at least you'll still have someone to talk to.

I want to use #reclaimaustralia to insult stupid racists but am a afraid they're too dumb to know how to use twitter.

"What do you get the person who has everything?"
Contents insurance.

I feel like seeing a movie about a robot man, a roid junkie, a 95 year old man, and a norse god, fighting robots. Any suggestions?

Do u think * is jealous of # for all the recent action it's been getting?

"interviewed" Bill Shorten about his policy to encourage more breast implants:  https://youtu.be/7GJkMt2kKzk 

A good prime minister: "Stop the pedophiles."
Tony Abbott: "Stop the boats."
#nauru #auspol

Exclusive Never Before Seen Footage of what @TonyAbbottMHR was really winking at:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljJwTqSR10A&list=PLIiKTIJmIZSbTas-66GTBRzMj82cK4q0M …

Christopher Pyne rejects saying the word "C*NT" on national television.:  http://youtu.be/SZQMt6QkpZM  via @YouTube

People keep telling me I'm long winded. Am I? I don't think I am, although I did start to realise that such an observation could quite possi

An erection? What a dick move!

Does this banjo make me look sexy?

2 bars walk into a dyslexic man.

Don't forget that 8 were executed, and that was only today. #Bali9 #IStandForMercy #KeepHopeAlive

I made a new video. Even if you're not a footy fan you should dig it:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNWbaM0y_BU …