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I'm sure Obama will make a great president. I can't wait for him to get started.
Pumped for Yogi Bear. Why come up with a new idea when you can blow the dust off a 40 year old piece of shit. Take that Pixar
I turned on the news tonight and saw the headline "trouble in the middle east" I dropped my plate in slow motion.
Happy Cinco de Mayo or as its known in France "I can't believe we lost to Mexico day"
I told my son to swing level at little league today, then I said do you know what level is ? and he said yes they have levels on Angry Birds
Good for the Japanese woman's soccer team after the devastation they suffered with the Gilbert Gottfried joke
I have a theory that Ed Hardy T- shirts are part of a secret government plan to monitor the migration of the north american douche bag.
Racist thought of the day- Its ironic that black Labs are such great swimmers
Remember, if it doesn't make you money and it doesn't make you happy. Don't do it.
RT @jennyjohnsonhi5 biggest impact this whole Carolla scandal has had is discovering 95% of people have no idea how to spell 'Carolla'#funny
Rules for online dating photos- Women must stand on a scale holding that days news paper. Men must stand in front of a 7-11 door w/ paystub
Hey Directors of movies stop the 555 when giving a phone #.Its distracting.Why not just hit the actor on the head with the fucking boom mic
The @adamcarollashow is streaming now! Tune into http://bit.ly/VPN_YouTube right now to watch the complete #livepodcast ft. @harleyplays. #VPN
The View is horrible, and I'm not afraid to tell the world or The Today Show
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/40027108#40027108
BBQ tip-instead of bbq sauce try olive oil italian parsley, chopped shallots, garlic, lemon zest, Slt&ppr, brush on and save some for dippin
Tomorrow the @adamcarollashow is going LIVE! Tune in at 7PM PST to watch the podcast ft. @harleyplays http://bit.ly/VPN_YouTube #LivePodcast #VPN
The only official Twitter of Adam Carolla. Be sure to follow for daily updates!
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