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  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

    • 4,351
    • FAVS
    xununestaceouterspaceScott_A_GilmorecornellmalcolmPhilDarnowskycocakoehlern3phoneLerbsyCherbs
    • 2,908
    • RETWEETS
    staceouterspaceScott_A_GilmorecornellmalcolmB_poling82bourgeoisalienDuaglothDaxDavePrimeauRee_Sub__
    Bob_HellerGregDunbar1AdderallMommaandroszrXalqeejoeldangerJustMugBillArrundaleDong_HangerarmyVet1972SlabBaconBPdemented_AshMidgetsparMrsJekyllsHydeNorthside_MikeShrinkMediasee_more13_wangwe_InsanelyNormal__llvvzzI_Mee_Myself_OBiiieeeeJermHimselfishshegotagronkWuDaFucSimplyNamedTronGhostOfATrophy____HysteriaBarbieWeissBrandon______PoodasBrainShaunRightNowAristotlesNZ__cixelsidgod______DavidOzmundDana_BrunothelukaskaisertigersgoroooarExcuseMeMandiKate_GoldsmithOne_FineMessActuallyEmersonAutumn_Suicide
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.

    • 3,762
    • FAVS
    unFinishdObjectcatmarstrun3phoneB_poling82blumpkinblumpyLerbsyCherbsashleyelineklatt_haley
    • 2,127
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82seesawdrakeShannon_EngelsolemnankhNinja_Soup_ashleyelinevalzhoganfeenixgavredux
    LuckoftheDraw86markboywonder__atDevinPaperWashOldUncleDaveOCarolineCaseyKidBeatnix______davetrek42summerofbennynaazihahFudgeRobotBlaineBrucejoeljeffreyNinjaFuneral______rachiecandiceMuffyTheFrogHrBryBrentweetsshegotagronkMarcusOreally__peachey_keenGimpySunshine____DeanB15beyourgoddessraydevitoabhorrent_wifePetPinkElephantBonaFideIntenttorramiSwanieChicken
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry girls, it's much harder to make a man laugh, than to make a man hard. Put that in your whore pipe and smoke it.

    • 2,835
    • FAVS
    astoriawinedivaCPTWonderfuckStat_MurseLtSunshineeBazN17Andee_StewartRocket_Gameramariah_leeann13
    • 1,540
    • RETWEETS
    CPTWonderfuckTattooedMiseryorgasnomAndee_Stewartmariah_leeann13TomTomHiltonRolltide_mnviciousbabydoll
    MidgetsparGrumpyBahrlilgapeach32__PuddingBoobslaurajennyjo10InchesPlusSharpeByteslilgapeach30______JVarsityCaptainKyrieFayeBillArrundalemellimelledetroit_etCayenne7300B_poling82ItalianBratikus
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"

    • 2,456
    • FAVS
    unFinishdObjectcatmarstruB_poling82Feliciajo94LerbsyCherbsashleyelinethepoisonedpoetFreddy_Mash
    • 1,348
    • RETWEETS
    DawlceeB_poling82seesawdrakeNinja_Soup_solemnankhgsu9696bourgeoisalienMimica_Maldini__
    1BigMickpeeznutsAdam14ParkerlawyerclassickrispyMrAdamBezDudeImShawnWhiskeySoured__kyle_thatisallNoorShamma101RaceySadPerunaAngelaEhhTeflonPawnWuDaFucStorminika
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Seen 10 different bios with "vagina owner." Is that..do we..am I supposed to register this thing? Is there a form I should have filled out?

    • 2,440
    • FAVS
    unFinishdObjectFeliciajo94VetTechianLerbsyCherbsfridayprofvmacnbourgeoisalienBob_Heller
    • 1,260
    • RETWEETS
    Ninja_Soup_KasieMarie831st_DisciplebourgeoisalienObscureTrevorxluciferaxObscureGentRobynKThomson
    GrizzGriffithsOne_FineMessJennifergr8rachelb1281MBittersweet25ahoytheboat______torramicathryn_wardhidingfromme__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Hey 500 lb lady in the tube top,daisy dukes, and rebel flag hair scrunchie...........save a little dick for the rest of us.

    • 2,098
    • FAVS
    LerbsyCherbsthepoisonedpoetbourgeoisalienDearAbbySimonhaykshanWBKnoblockObscureTrevorTheObscureGents
    • 906
    • RETWEETS
    Ninja_Soup_angie01cbourgeoisalienObscureTrevorObscureGentCliffordMyerskv808Nyx
    PORNOPINION10InchesPlusLeroyTee__________Lani_HaydenKrunkedRobotbkdcaseyjohngayseeNot_From_Troyohwrigley________urbusta
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand.

    • 2,025
    • FAVS
    BobHellerTeesBaileyHoutsZora_d_1991rubyplant1h3dderkasumuni_hilaryfairieahk3mi
    • 965
    • RETWEETS
    Zora_d_1991rubyplant1B_poling82SeanC_75LerbsyCherbsdajoker36turdfinderbourgeoisalien
    CuddleYourCatroggyieChinderr_ella____scaffoldjockyMi_SSbehaved__bouncerface______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I have no patience for people who aren't completely delighted by me.

    • 1,851
    • FAVS
    awescarB_poling82FrakkingAwesomePainAnonymoustjmarcum60etcollins77olchucklesloScoobdoobles
    • 1,129
    • RETWEETS
    olchucklesloScoobdooblesProudFFAalumnicamdens_mama_jenbourgoyneDarrenTheDude_The_RHLP_ChristaDoll
    lloydrangshegotagronkcorinnemlwswBrewskerJaySaysStufflouise_vuittondapptrapOne_FineMessgidget_76momma0315djr_102porkrimsen________
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.

    • 1,958
    • FAVS
    unFinishdObjectShannon_EngelLerbsyCherbsbemandajoyanon_cheftrainwreck1000bourgeoisalienObscureGent
    • 927
    • RETWEETS
    anon_cheftrainwreck1000dajoker36bourgeoisalienMsPhantasticalincogellenSarcasiliciousGeorgeHolmes47
    MinedOvaMatterWS_Panic__________travisauruss______ItsMyKitchenjoeyhuggles______SimplyNamedTronBudders88SilleVioGhostOfATrophy____Dana_BrunoTwiceTheHopsdjr_102LuvPug
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.

    • 1,762
    • FAVS
    thornrushesVetTechianLerbsyCherbsEdwinaCrumplethulnicollejuking6AmeyaSurwasebourgeoisalien
    • 716
    • RETWEETS
    dajoker36tonykingartjuking6bourgeoisalienMACHIN1STgsu9696normancallmemashyexplodey
    ericonederfuldavid_tull10InchesPluslittlekitnerboytpurvis06TheDairylandDonfUCK_iSAAC_shruglordJosesLovesYouDurtMcHurttShaunRightNow23_Liessheseemslegitpotatokingpinbouncerface______ActuallyEmerson
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    After sex I won't be making you a sandwich. I'll be gently rolling you out of my bed with my foot, wishing you success in future endeavors.

    • 1,646
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleeshaykshanObscureGentDanKCharnleyMateoNY23werehedgehogLambyMcSheepsHelmdawgE
    • 754
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82MateoNY23BandersnaaatchSarcasilicioushensackerRighttoddNarcissusMaxmusmiss_jerkette
    atDevinThe_SculptressgoodballsJazzzzzmina2loony1shwebby2__________KarenLyneButler
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.

    • 1,575
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesAyrliaStarNinjaSweatpantshaykshanObscureTrevorTheObscureGentschewstrokeObscureGent
    • 743
    • RETWEETS
    NinjaSweatpantshaykshanObscureTrevorObscureGentMateoNY23hensackerMischievousJamElsyBeath
    SharpeBytesUnicornSyruphi5yoface________Scigglez__________PetPinkElephantthatstingsteacup_giraffe____KPsych29__________johngaysee
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Would anyone like to come over for some fancy nachos? They're just like regular nachos, but I leave my pants on.

    • 1,515
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesAyrliaStarstarrebellaNinjaSweatpantsTheGregWagnerhaykshanObscureGentMamaFlores
    • 631
    • RETWEETS
    AyrliaStarNinjaSweatpantshaykshanSarcasilicioushensackernospeakyouStarksWeek__dfizzel1
    LuckoftheDraw86BillArrundalemattelgatoDBMaxPkarencreets______revenge_tanukisIronWangwarholearyshwebby2__________DavidOzmund
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Mom:"Thanks for not being a skinny whore." Me:"No problem. Thanks for not leaving me in a dumpster." How are we not in soup commercials?

    • 1,563
    • FAVS
    PleasantSurprizLucaDofusJamieGreenleesfunduvalMumCarahlisaxy424PetrickSaraLysdexicia
    • 541
    • RETWEETS
    JamieGreenleesbarbmorrisonfunduvalBobbyNeil79DBwiddaDBHolliLokiCool_Jesseericonederful
    BlondAmbitionTOiheartguntsBlairLoudlyNerd_Boner_________SirPrincessdhilliard74Lani_HaydenCrooklynMMA
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    On a scale of 1-10 how pissed will my Mom be if I go through her check book and write "for a bag of dicks," in every memo section?

    • 1,287
    • FAVS
    awescarhaykshanSergeantSchultzObscureTrevorTheObscureGentsmastergraceyObscureGentPyroDego
    • 569
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentAudible_GaspHelmdawgELerkySarcasilicioustheMichelleCopeMischievousJam
    caperbc75fullblowndavepeachey_keenbaconNmeggsBoobzillaz
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Any night can be date night if you sit close enough to strangers in the movie theater.

    • 1,033
    • FAVS
    MadameWolfegnatmagkatspaksBernadetteArau1MadiJooonubKimberleymakadoHolymanInfo
    • 631
    • RETWEETS
    katspaksKimberleymakadoA_siikadienaloreHeshiAm_NourrsakrJulieSnarkSisiLongLegs
    summerofbennymantejkentgrossarthm1ss_chiefwesjohnson8SeanEmenyWorldofSmithy____B_poling82vikkaroniahhhpatrick______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    My preferred method of birth control is awkward & chubby.

    • 1,169
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesawescarB_poling82ObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleyMateoNY23
    • 487
    • RETWEETS
    HelmdawgEjunejuly12SarcasilicioushensackerjpuncholoMischievousJamcinderellashadoStarksWeek__
    GetCougarizedN60220638The_Opposed__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    If you wake someone up saying "wakey wakey eggs and bakey" there better damn well be "eggs and bakey" or shits bout to get real.

    • 1,064
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleessmokeymccheefoObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleywerehedgehogHelmdawgE
    • 445
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82KatieCowgillJaybird12WSarcasiliciousRoechelleFoleyhensackerlisalala7440MischievousJam
    angelina_mxoxokneeeecolahh__joeyhuggles______ticknada
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I go a strange place alone I always hear the voice of Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries saying "on the last day of Angie's life..."

    • 1,073
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesonume_ObscureGentOLDIRTYDIAPEREmergencyQBjennslyngsu9696simoncholland
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    gsu9696KwamWritesdshack8StarksWeek__LipLush1dinalositoERN_Malleyscrubthepiptastic1
    Lani_Haydenlawyerthoughts2loony1ZeRoyalBaumer____
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    What's with drawing the eyebrows on so high? Are you expecting some surprising news and planning accordingly?

    • 992
    • FAVS
    JamieGreenleesObscureGentPyroDegoDanKCharnleywerehedgehogrezervoirdog69Mz908HelmdawgE
    • 426
    • RETWEETS
    HelmdawgESarcasiliciousiAmDelFreakyjpuncholoElsyBeathStarksWeek__thefunleiLeagueofNope
    mahatmatweeter_sleepysmile__
@Adar79Angie

@Adar79Angie
Pro

I still heart peen. I'm the Goodnight Duchovny girl. I try to make people laugh. Get ready for mediocre entertainment! America's Chubby Sweetheart #circlejerks