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  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

    • 4,618
    • FAVS
    JDeGroot85Alcoholic007christostefanonedumbsharkadanzqueenToryBadgerQuartzjixlerKenPowell252
    • 3,043
    • RETWEETS
    adanzqueenQuartzjixlerKenPowell252sdub2001Thatsit4memridulbasantiI_amYrGPSalbertchavez2
    _troyjohnsonBob_HellerGregDunbar1AdderallMommaandroszrXalqeejoeldangerJustMugBillArrundaleDong_HangerarmyVet1972SlabBaconBPdemented_AshMidgetsparMrsJekyllsHydeNorthside_MikeShrinkMediasee_more13_wangwe_InsanelyNormal__llvvzzI_Mee_Myself_OBiiieeeeJermHimselfishshegotagronkWuDaFucSimplyNamedTronGhostOfATrophy____HysteriaBarbieWeissBrandon______PoodasBrainShaunRightNowAristotlesNZ__cixelsidgod______DavidOzmundDana_BrunothelukaskaisertigersgoroooarExcuseMeMandiKate_GoldsmithOne_FineMessActuallyEmersonAutumn_Suicide
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.

    • 4,081
    • FAVS
    Tierno158KenknudsonKenJljudy38JencplusaverageMChermsidetravishastweetsnotfranfineonlyofficial518
    • 2,297
    • RETWEETS
    susancholmesKenknudsonKenjenngearyJljudy38JenLindaInDisguisenotfranfinejnarredondoadanzqueen
    houffyJosesLovesYouCelebrityChezLuckoftheDraw86markboywonder__atDevinPaperWashOldUncleDaveOCarolineCaseyKidBeatnix______davetrek42summerofbennynaazihahFudgeRobotBlaineBrucejoeljeffreyNinjaFuneral______rachiecandiceMuffyTheFrogHrBryBrentweetsshegotagronkMarcusOreally__peachey_keenGimpySunshine____DeanB15beyourgoddessraydevitoabhorrent_wifePetPinkElephantBonaFideIntenttorramiSwanieChicken
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry girls, it's much harder to make a man laugh, than to make a man hard. Put that in your whore pipe and smoke it.

    • 2,967
    • FAVS
    alli_winsdub2001carlielyngirlontapasMultitudes8BlackCheesePieScotthobson1syst3mangel
    • 1,606
    • RETWEETS
    NateB_For323E_Rod23girlontapasScotthobson168Cly29geishagigglesSome_girl89Fyrekrakr73
    MidgetsparGrumpyBahrlilgapeach32__PuddingBoobslaurajennyjo10InchesPlusSharpeByteslilgapeach30______JVarsityCaptainKyrieFayeBillArrundalemellimelledetroit_etCayenne7300B_poling82ItalianBratikus
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    You're in your 30's. You don't have "haters."
    You have "adults" who find you "annoying."

    • 2,568
    • FAVS
    rubadubdub298courtneyqueermariaideringJonTheMadhatterMoltoPensierosoJolie_Peche_BrittanyN7c2casiple
    • 1,625
    • RETWEETS
    faustinrubadubdub298thoseeyesdoJeanetteTran97MoltoPensierosoadele655321thrill713RHeightsFinest
    SarcasticsapienGroperClevelandAndyAsAdjectivemichowl
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"

    • 2,538
    • FAVS
    LindaInDisguiseJane___JonesshergulleNormDGuerreIndygirlontapaschyubecca68Cly29green_eyed_doll
    • 1,387
    • RETWEETS
    shergulleNormDGuerreIndy68Cly29lazy_doodlerDickGreenbergmanderso7jitteryglitteryBradBroaddus
    1BigMickpeeznutsAdam14ParkerlawyerclassickrispyMrAdamBezDudeImShawnWhiskeySoured__kyle_thatisallNoorShamma101RaceySadPerunaAngelaEhhTeflonPawnWuDaFucStorminika
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Seen 10 different bios with "vagina owner." Is that..do we..am I supposed to register this thing? Is there a form I should have filled out?

    • 2,575
    • FAVS
    st0len_usernameTrentidonsamanthawaradycaseydoeswordsQuartzjixlerJohn26649305Edweardmediocregee
    • 1,320
    • RETWEETS
    st0len_usernameQuartzjixlerjaelco26Chloestyloalbertchavez2McGunnersitethepoetknightStinkyGr33n
    GrizzGriffithsOne_FineMessJennifergr8rachelb1281MBittersweet25ahoytheboat______torramicathryn_wardhidingfromme__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I have no patience for people who aren't completely delighted by me.

    • 1,951
    • FAVS
    alli_winLindaInDisguisechappell_caseyJesseeRaeeOnBeingHercsexylexaThe_Joe_UrbanWittySassBasket
    • 1,184
    • RETWEETS
    LindaInDisguisecsexylexaWittySassBasketcrunkinpremoQuartzjixleravery_austinnxtech08Buh_Bitches
    LackOfShamelloydrangshegotagronkcorinnemlwswBrewskerJaySaysStufflouise_vuittondapptrapOne_FineMessgidget_76momma0315djr_102porkrimsen________
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand.

    • 2,074
    • FAVS
    lucy_nyholm123cathe05rina_Refrigerators_JHM05dirtysdocTweetsByTheTonydxblarssonENGLindaInDisguise
    • 986
    • RETWEETS
    lucy_nyholm123TweetsByTheTonydxblarssonENGunpoetiqueMind_fukkdrewpetrouDatNolaSamrandomnloveit
    CuddleYourCatroggyieChinderr_ella____scaffoldjockyMi_SSbehaved__bouncerface______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Hey 500 lb lady in the tube top,daisy dukes, and rebel flag hair scrunchie...........save a little dick for the rest of us.

    • 2,137
    • FAVS
    LindaInDisguisecraig41james41morotekappatathepoetknightQuartzjixlerKenPowell252TheAlexNevilcarlielyn
    • 923
    • RETWEETS
    thepoetknightQuartzjixlerKenPowell252at1stiwasafraidFLABOYZGURLCatGUnitNickyValentineGrimLady013
    PORNOPINION10InchesPlusLeroyTee__________Lani_HaydenKrunkedRobotbkdcaseyjohngayseeNot_From_Troyohwrigley________urbusta
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.

    • 2,017
    • FAVS
    TheWeedFatherlucy_nyholm123cathe05rinaAndreaC242CaliDreamin777RoccoColoradoTweetsByTheTonychrismerrill
    • 964
    • RETWEETS
    HappyPlaceProlucy_nyholm123AndreaC242CaliDreamin777TweetsByTheTonychrismerrilldxblarssonENGzachjt28
    MinedOvaMatterWS_Panic__________travisauruss______ItsMyKitchenmylittlehugglesSimplyNamedTronBudders88SilleVioGhostOfATrophy____Dana_BrunoTwiceTheHopsdjr_102LuvPug
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.

    • 1,796
    • FAVS
    LindaInDisguisebrentbeerentamandajpanda1kick1hat1snaredeepmausSheDoneGoodTheCareBarekentgrossarth
    • 735
    • RETWEETS
    brentbeerentlauraleeksmithSheDoneGoodkentgrossarthjazzjavajoykv8MommaUnfilteredShelovestopaint__
    ericonederfuldavid_tull10InchesPluslittlekitnerboytpurvis06TheDairylandDonfUCK_iSAAC_shruglordJosesLovesYouDurtMcHurttShaunRightNow23_Liessheseemslegitpotatokingpin__bouncerface______ActuallyEmerson
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    After sex I won't be making you a sandwich. I'll be gently rolling you out of my bed with my foot, wishing you success in future endeavors.

    • 1,691
    • FAVS
    LindaInDisguise_troyjohnsonKenPowell252FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianvalerie_tosithemorris23
    • 769
    • RETWEETS
    pariwartanbasn1I_Disdainlovemydogduckbeefman138Thelorddisick_CaptainEyePatchtupacasnackDMAMA232323
    atDevinThe_SculptressjavachipbonesJazzzzzmina2loony1shwebby2__________KarenLyneButler
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.

    • 1,617
    • FAVS
    LindaInDisguisebrentbeerentThepinkparkaCharlie_Eley_XxspacewolfgraceTheCareBarekentgrossarthLaniBeno
    • 765
    • RETWEETS
    Charlie_Eley_XxkentgrossarthKendraC93LaniBenoAnnain_GrayeMommyCatwalkNicoleSTPBaldyLockzz
    SharpeBytesUnicornSyruphi5yoface________Scigglez__________PetPinkElephantthatstingsteacup_giraffe____KPsych29__________johngaysee
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Would anyone like to come over for some fancy nachos? They're just like regular nachos, but I leave my pants on.

    • 1,568
    • FAVS
    lucyworld1Jljudy38JenNorthside_Mike_troyjohnsonTheCatWhisprerVelcroVSlaceMcKnightyBooCJZ_1
    • 661
    • RETWEETS
    lucyworld1Jljudy38JenLindaInDisguiseBlogmonsternetMcKnightyBooJimboleemPanTan78FLABOYZGURL
    LuckoftheDraw86BillArrundalemattelgatoDBMaxPkarencreets______revenge_tanukisIronWangwarholearyshwebby2__________DavidOzmund
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Mom:"Thanks for not being a skinny whore." Me:"No problem. Thanks for not leaving me in a dumpster." How are we not in soup commercials?

    • 1,597
    • FAVS
    FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzilliangregoryhayes772lovestained555dreamthievinUnPerfectMom__Theilluminati80
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    FLABOYZGURLgregoryhayes772jb50177UnPerfectMom__Theilluminati80JanieHollandMcCutty1BeyondThe140
    BlondAmbitionTOiheartguntsBlairLoudlyNerd_Boner_________SirPrincessdhilliard74Lani_HaydenCrooklynMMA
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    On a scale of 1-10 how pissed will my Mom be if I go through her check book and write "for a bag of dicks," in every memo section?

    • 1,305
    • FAVS
    LaniBenoFaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianvalerie_tosiLtdEdShelbybeefman138LyptonStation
    • 575
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138trashtasticaDisneyFanNJstarwarsshirtMommaUnfilteredsirmunchie__ObscureTrevorObscureGent
    caperbc75fullblowndavepeachey_keenbaconNmeggsBoobzillaz
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Any night can be date night if you sit close enough to strangers in the movie theater.

    • 1,153
    • FAVS
    TittystonedgbobinaC_Cil1Miss_Mucho662x3GoofyGeminiGeoroyoSophieHawky
    • 690
    • RETWEETS
    CamilaStewartMETittystoned662x3ExclamationmarkGeoroyoErrikaEatsChrisfromHBSArankingTweets
    BradBroaddussummerofbennymantejkentgrossarthm1ss_chiefwesjohnson8SeanEmenyWorldofSmithy____B_poling82vikkaroniahhhpatrick______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    My preferred method of birth control is awkward & chubby.

    • 1,182
    • FAVS
    FaustslaughterJimboleemali_is_lamegmossiigreggoodman77dreamthievinthatcarlygirlbeefman138
    • 490
    • RETWEETS
    dreamthievinbeefman138sirmunchie__HelmdawgEjunejuly12Sarcasilicioushensacker__jpuncholo
    GetCougarizedN60220638The_Opposed__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    If you wake someone up saying "wakey wakey eggs and bakey" there better damn well be "eggs and bakey" or shits bout to get real.

    • 1,079
    • FAVS
    alli_winLindaInDisguisecareylikeswineLaniBenoCJZ_1FaustslaughterJimboleemDownFrontArtist
    • 447
    • RETWEETS
    carlielynsirmunchie__B_poling82KatieCowgillJaybird12WSarcasiliciousRoechelleFoleyhensacker__
    angelina_mxoxokneeeecolahh__mylittlehugglesticknada
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I go a strange place alone I always hear the voice of Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries saying "on the last day of Angie's life..."

    • 1,093
    • FAVS
    SmartassChefCJZ_1FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianSwingersonian__gmossiiamydillon
    • 372
    • RETWEETS
    gmossiidreamthievinAisagbonhimercyJstanotherpizzaDownFrontArtistelphie052179sirmunchie__gsu9696
    Lani_Haydenlawyerthoughts2loony1ZeRoyalBaumer____
@Adar79Angie

@Adar79Angie

I'll always be the jester, in a world that idolizes the princess. Goodnight @davidduchovny

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