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  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

    • 4,569
    • FAVS
    Meadow_MoonstrangedejimRunJeffreyRunronni4865MikeEtheringtonNikkiLeigh_694__lyd_westdiv1r
    • 3,021
    • RETWEETS
    RunJeffreyRunSprayPain_isArtAalamMDSteveDutzymgoldeyTheReal_NobodyRazaAryaflaicaster
    Bob_HellerGregDunbar1AdderallMommaandroszrXalqeejoeldangerJustMugBillArrundaleDong_HangerarmyVet1972SlabBaconBPdemented_AshMidgetsparMrsJekyllsHydeNorthside_MikeShrinkMediasee_more13_wangwe_InsanelyNormal__llvvzzI_Mee_Myself_OBiiieeeeJermHimselfishshegotagronkWuDaFucSimplyNamedTronGhostOfATrophy____HysteriaBarbieWeissBrandon______PoodasBrainShaunRightNowAristotlesNZ__cixelsidgod______DavidOzmundDana_BrunothelukaskaisertigersgoroooarExcuseMeMandiKate_GoldsmithOne_FineMessActuallyEmersonAutumn_Suicide
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.

    • 4,033
    • FAVS
    mylittlebeckyRunJeffreyRunFreekKalterKrystalla3flamGISheDoneGoodGroperClevelandJohnnyBeGoooddd
    • 2,262
    • RETWEETS
    RunJeffreyRunSheDoneGoodequinelover137DoubleWhammy3AndeSoutheysiddo471just1foolbuzcuts
    JosesLovesYouCelebrityChezLuckoftheDraw86markboywonder__atDevinPaperWashOldUncleDaveOCarolineCaseyKidBeatnix______davetrek42summerofbennynaazihahFudgeRobotBlaineBrucejoeljeffreyNinjaFuneral______rachiecandiceMuffyTheFrogHrBryBrentweetsshegotagronkMarcusOreally__peachey_keenGimpySunshine____DeanB15beyourgoddessraydevitoabhorrent_wifePetPinkElephantBonaFideIntenttorramiSwanieChicken
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry girls, it's much harder to make a man laugh, than to make a man hard. Put that in your whore pipe and smoke it.

    • 2,939
    • FAVS
    KenPowell252mylittlebeckyRunJeffreyRunAnitaHelmetGroperClevelandBostonHooliganz4T9X1U16p9QScOmKaligirl20__
    • 1,593
    • RETWEETS
    KenPowell252RunJeffreyRunMotilallRehanaBostonHooliganzDoubleWhammy34T9X1U16p9QScOmsiddo471just1fool
    MidgetsparGrumpyBahrlilgapeach32__PuddingBoobslaurajennyjo10InchesPlusSharpeByteslilgapeach30______JVarsityCaptainKyrieFayeBillArrundalemellimelledetroit_etCayenne7300B_poling82ItalianBratikus
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"

    • 2,522
    • FAVS
    GroperClevelandDixieSportsmanHuajatollaChicishmantjeJGrumbieOhYeahILiedhipfan72foxybox
    • 1,379
    • RETWEETS
    MofokaJonezHuajatollaChicishmantjeDouchekevinLiv_LEAPSiTomBurnsgarypdaleyelias_henrik
    1BigMickpeeznutsAdam14ParkerlawyerclassickrispyMrAdamBezDudeImShawnWhiskeySoured__kyle_thatisallNoorShamma101RaceySadPerunaAngelaEhhTeflonPawnWuDaFucStorminika
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Seen 10 different bios with "vagina owner." Is that..do we..am I supposed to register this thing? Is there a form I should have filled out?

    • 2,549
    • FAVS
    lowcountryfanSheDoneGoodGroperClevelandhook8669AnaObscuratsweetg35FlutesAndSuitsdanlak3
    • 1,310
    • RETWEETS
    SheDoneGoodhook8669WhitehawkJokerAnaObscuratKendraC93River_NilesvictorialingeLaniBeno
    GrizzGriffithsOne_FineMessJennifergr8rachelb1281MBittersweet25ahoytheboat______torramicathryn_wardhidingfromme__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    You're in your 30's. You don't have "haters."
    You have "adults" who find you "annoying."

    • 1,988
    • FAVS
    HanmaboogieCheeriebombTallGlassOTalltricia_aliasJimmyUrbaneMiniMeWeeGuy45Sa5S1nEeahKaiju
    • 1,274
    • RETWEETS
    HanmaboogieTallGlassOTallTonikaAwomiPr33tyD33pCurlTheBurlnovember172LovesToLoveHimSaraESpivey
    GroperClevelandAndyAsAdjectivemichowl
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I have no patience for people who aren't completely delighted by me.

    • 1,932
    • FAVS
    Meadow_MoonSheDoneGoodDemonKingOdaMcKnightyBooFaustslaughterJimboleemle_deuxTerseLilts
    • 1,171
    • RETWEETS
    SheDoneGoodAngieETimDemonKingOdaMcKnightyBoolesliechaney15FLABOYZGURLCumGetYourBitchjustagirl1971
    LackOfShamelloydrangshegotagronkcorinnemlwswBrewskerJaySaysStufflouise_vuittondapptrapOne_FineMessgidget_76momma0315djr_102porkrimsen________
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand.

    • 2,065
    • FAVS
    FaustslaughterJimboleemdreamthievinDwim74athenasladunpoetiqueMind_fukkRRCheeseBurger
    • 983
    • RETWEETS
    unpoetiqueMind_fukkdrewpetrouDatNolaSamrandomnloveitarcherenemyNolaChef504valerie_tosi
    CuddleYourCatroggyieChinderr_ella____scaffoldjockyMi_SSbehaved__bouncerface______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Hey 500 lb lady in the tube top,daisy dukes, and rebel flag hair scrunchie...........save a little dick for the rest of us.

    • 2,127
    • FAVS
    Meadow_MoonFaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianMystique1975GrimLady013DohertyAllisondreamthievin
    • 920
    • RETWEETS
    at1stiwasafraidFLABOYZGURLCatGUnitNickyValentineGrimLady013dreamthievingabe_carringtonSchlagerBomb
    PORNOPINION10InchesPlusLeroyTee__________Lani_HaydenKrunkedRobotbkdcaseyjohngayseeNot_From_Troyohwrigley________urbusta
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.

    • 1,999
    • FAVS
    maceymerrell10alylynnolsenLaniBenoBellaOfNutellaFaustslaughterJimboleemaminah_321FancyNancyAnn
    • 954
    • RETWEETS
    violasebastienKendraC93alylynnolsenLaniBenoStarr2_d2FaustslaughterMurchismo_LoveDiesHard_
    MinedOvaMatterWS_Panic__________travisauruss______ItsMyKitchenjosephhuggles__SimplyNamedTronBudders88SilleVioGhostOfATrophy____Dana_BrunoTwiceTheHopsdjr_102LuvPug
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.

    • 1,795
    • FAVS
    brentbeerentamandajpanda1kick1hat1snaredeepmausSheDoneGoodTheCareBarekentgrossarthFaustslaughter
    • 735
    • RETWEETS
    brentbeerentlauraleeksmithSheDoneGoodkentgrossarthjazzjavajoykv8MommaUnfiltered__Shelovestopaint
    ericonederfuldavid_tull10InchesPluslittlekitnerboytpurvis06TheDairylandDonfUCK_iSAAC_shruglordJosesLovesYouDurtMcHurttShaunRightNow23_Liessheseemslegitpotatokingpin__bouncerface______ActuallyEmerson
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    After sex I won't be making you a sandwich. I'll be gently rolling you out of my bed with my foot, wishing you success in future endeavors.

    • 1,689
    • FAVS
    KenPowell252FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianvalerie_tosithemorris23Cara1069I_Disdain
    • 769
    • RETWEETS
    pariwartanbasn1I_Disdainlovemydogduckbeefman138Thelorddisick_CaptainEyePatchtupacasnackDMAMA232323
    atDevinThe_SculptressjavachipdreamsJazzzzzmina2loony1shwebby2__________KarenLyneButler
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.

    • 1,616
    • FAVS
    brentbeerentThepinkparkaCharlie_Eley_XxspacewolfgraceTheCareBarekentgrossarthLaniBenoCJZ_1
    • 765
    • RETWEETS
    Charlie_Eley_XxkentgrossarthKendraC93LaniBenoAnnain_GrayeMommyCatwalkNicoleSTPBaldyLockzz
    SharpeBytesUnicornSyruphi5yoface________Scigglez__________PetPinkElephantthatstingsteacup_giraffe____KPsych29__________johngaysee
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Would anyone like to come over for some fancy nachos? They're just like regular nachos, but I leave my pants on.

    • 1,564
    • FAVS
    TheCatWhisprerVelcroVSlaceMcKnightyBooCJZ_1FaustslaughterJimboleemPanTan78gregoryhayes772
    • 658
    • RETWEETS
    BlogmonsternetMcKnightyBooJimboleemPanTan78FLABOYZGURLgregoryhayes772dreamthievinExodus_1831
    LuckoftheDraw86BillArrundalemattelgatoDBMaxPkarencreets______revenge_tanukisIronWangwarholearyshwebby2__________DavidOzmund
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Mom:"Thanks for not being a skinny whore." Me:"No problem. Thanks for not leaving me in a dumpster." How are we not in soup commercials?

    • 1,597
    • FAVS
    FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzilliangregoryhayes772lovestained555dreamthievinUnPerfectMomTheilluminati80
    • 554
    • RETWEETS
    FLABOYZGURLgregoryhayes772jb50177UnPerfectMomTheilluminati80JanieHollandMcCutty1BeyondThe140
    BlondAmbitionTOiheartguntsBlairLoudlyNerd_Boner_________SirPrincessdhilliard74Lani_HaydenCrooklynMMA
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    On a scale of 1-10 how pissed will my Mom be if I go through her check book and write "for a bag of dicks," in every memo section?

    • 1,305
    • FAVS
    LaniBenoFaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianvalerie_tosiLtdEdShelbybeefman138LyptonStation
    • 575
    • RETWEETS
    beefman138trashtasticaDisneyFanNJstarwarsshirtMommaUnfiltered__sirmunchie__ObscureTrevorObscureGent
    caperbc75fullblowndavepeachey_keenbaconNmeggsBoobzillaz
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Any night can be date night if you sit close enough to strangers in the movie theater.

    • 1,121
    • FAVS
    beeinthemomentFaustslaughterJimboleemalieickholzgmossiiDrewHowardsonlilndasouthnospeakyou__
    • 668
    • RETWEETS
    Oliviaa_AnndreamthievinAisagbonhimercynospeakyou__zombieparrotDownFrontArtistbeefman138blewsyboy
    summerofbennymantejkentgrossarthm1ss_chiefwesjohnson8SeanEmenyWorldofSmithy____B_poling82vikkaroniahhhpatrick______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    My preferred method of birth control is awkward & chubby.

    • 1,182
    • FAVS
    FaustslaughterJimboleemalieickholzgmossiigreggoodman77dreamthievinthatcarlygirlbeefman138
    • 490
    • RETWEETS
    dreamthievinbeefman138sirmunchie__HelmdawgEjunejuly12Sarcasilicioushensacker__jpuncholo
    GetCougarizedN60220638The_Opposed__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    If you wake someone up saying "wakey wakey eggs and bakey" there better damn well be "eggs and bakey" or shits bout to get real.

    • 1,076
    • FAVS
    LaniBenoCJZ_1FaustslaughterJimboleemDownFrontArtistvalerie_tosithemorris23LyptonStation
    • 446
    • RETWEETS
    sirmunchie__B_poling82KatieCowgillJaybird12WSarcasiliciousRoechelleFoleyhensacker__lisalala7440
    angelina_mxoxokneeeecolahh__josephhuggles__ticknada
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I go a strange place alone I always hear the voice of Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries saying "on the last day of Angie's life..."

    • 1,092
    • FAVS
    CJZ_1FaustslaughterJimboleembruhzillianSwingersoniangmossiiamydillongreggoodman77
    • 372
    • RETWEETS
    gmossiidreamthievinAisagbonhimercyJstanotherpizzaDownFrontArtistelphie052179sirmunchie__gsu9696
    Lani_Haydenlawyerthoughts2loony1ZeRoyalBaumer____
@Adar79Angie

@Adar79Angie

I still heart peen. I'm the Goodnight Duchovny girl. I try to make people laugh. Get ready for mediocre entertainment! America's Chubby Sweetheart #circlejerks

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