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  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your vagina.

    • 4,295
    • FAVS
    divljatresnjaradabelaJShijanzakcureSuzyFindlayBlejzModestyDaniela__Danniklimauautobusu
    • 2,884
    • RETWEETS
    6af64df3782b477nie_meliMajaMoon14valeriaszilagyiRJ_Number8colecosterkkelleyM_laraaasa
    Bob_HellerGregDunbar1AdderallMommaandroszrXalqeejoeldangerJustMugBillArrundaleDong_HangerarmyVet1972SlabBaconBPdemented_AshMidgetsparMrsJekyllsHydeNorthside_MikeShrinkMediasee_more13_wangwe_InsanelyNormal__llvvzzI_Mee_Myself_OBiiieeeeJermHimselfishshegotagronkWuDaFucSimplyNamedTronGhostOfATrophy____HysteriaBarbieWeissBrandon______PoodasBrainShaunRightNowAristotlesNZ__cixelsidgod______DavidOzmundDana_BrunothelukaskaisertigersgoroooarExcuseMeMandiKate_GoldsmithOne_FineMessActuallyEmersonAutumn_Suicide
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra.

    • 3,742
    • FAVS
    TJtweet10Wordacrobatics1somervillrMichelleVitagrlObscureGentJustLikeCheySchusterJaneAwomanscorned30
    • 2,114
    • RETWEETS
    MsPhantasticalMichelleVitagrlSchusterJanedwzdTheReal_AndyMacbobw1oMasterOfFuryPurpledove711
    markboywonder__atDevinPaperWashOldUncleDaveOCarolineCaseyKidBeatnix______davetrek42summerofbennynaazihahFudgeRobotBlaineBrucejoeljeffreyNinjaFuneral______rachiecandiceMuffyTheFrogHrBryBrentweetsshegotagronkMarcusOreally__peachey_keenGimpySunshine____DeanB15beyourgoddessraydevitoabhorrent_wifePetPinkElephantBonaFideIntenttorramiSwanieChicken
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I'm sorry girls, it's much harder to make a man laugh, than to make a man hard. Put that in your whore pipe and smoke it.

    • 2,795
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentMateoNY23eenstedtSaraHarveyNYCgerryhatricMaxTitus12Social_Mimejasminejuliette
    • 1,515
    • RETWEETS
    lunalindzSocial_Mimeb_r_u_gmusikatefootlover9191mrjohntofuMAKKARROMAHelmdawgE
    GrumpyBahrlilgapeach32PuddingBoobslaurajennyjo10InchesPlusSharpeByteslilgapeach30______JVarsityCaptainKyrieFayeBillArrundalemellimelledetroit_etCayenne7300B_poling82ItalianBratikus
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I let friend's kid call my ex & say "Are you really my daddy?" while I'm in the background yelling "hang up the phone,he doesn't want you!"

    • 2,441
    • FAVS
    narandzasta1Mima_M_Draculaswife__plavetniloIz_Zadnje_Klupezlavila87KristinaSticcoTrajaBG
    • 1,341
    • RETWEETS
    Mima_M_volim_pivoRebornInParisSnezanaSalvatorJovanaN1990xdevojkaKnjazevackiFredkomentarabez
    1BigMickpeeznutsAdam14ParkerlawyerclassickrispyMrAdamBezDudeImShawnWhiskeySoured__kyle_thatisallNoorShamma101RaceySadPerunaAngelaEhhTeflonPawnWuDaFucStorminika
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Seen 10 different bios with "vagina owner." Is that..do we..am I supposed to register this thing? Is there a form I should have filled out?

    • 2,430
    • FAVS
    SergeantSchultzObscureTrevorTheObscureGentsxluciferaxObscureGentMasterOfFuryPyroDegoMateoNY23
    • 1,256
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorxluciferaxObscureGentRobynKThomsonHelmdawgEmimi_cerislewiskv8Sarcasilicious
    GrizzGriffithsOne_FineMessJennifergr8rachelb1281MBittersweet25ahoytheboat______torramicathryn_wardhidingfromme__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Hey 500 lb lady in the tube top,daisy dukes, and rebel flag hair scrunchie...........save a little dick for the rest of us.

    • 2,093
    • FAVS
    WBKnoblockObscureTrevorTheObscureGentsCurt_AmesmattmanicObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDego
    • 903
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentCliffordMyerskv808NyxRoweboat13Ghensackermylovebird77
    PORNOPINION10InchesPlusLeroyTee__________Lani_HaydenKrunkedRobotbkdcaseyjohngayseeNot_From_Troyohwrigley________urbusta
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish I loved anything as much as middle aged white women love sharing pictures of words written in sand.

    • 1,997
    • FAVS
    XMeaSententiasanityinabottle3rd_darkangelsoccerskiingmomSophieloveteahenry_theuerObscureTrevorTheObscureGents
    • 953
    • RETWEETS
    3rd_darkangelsoccerskiingmomdoctorweedfairyObscureTrevorEasyE_ColiObscureGentMamaFloresLambyMcSheeps
    CuddleYourCatroggyieChinderr_ella____scaffoldjockyMi_SSbehaved__bouncerface______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I have no patience for people who aren't completely delighted by me.

    • 1,813
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentHollyMemphisPyroDegoMateoNY23werehedgehogmantejHelmdawgESamm_Lim
    • 1,124
    • RETWEETS
    Samm_LimSatinAndLace64Jn1ferjunejuly12MischievousJameluna333AngelaInNMAnemoneOh
    lloydrangshegotagronkcorinnemlwswBrewskerJaySaysStufflouise_vuittondapptrapOne_FineMessgidget_76momma0315djr_102porkrimsen________
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I sat down beside this guy in a diner, every time he went to take a bite of his sandwich I'd say nomnomnom. He left. Making friends is hard.

    • 1,951
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPyroDegoCh8rmingwerehedgehogmantejLambyMcSheepsHelmdawgEYo_Simmity_Sam
    • 923
    • RETWEETS
    MsPhantasticalincogellenSarcasiliciousGeorgeHolmes47hensackerMischievousJambaabhyder1ElsyBeath
    MinedOvaMatterWS_Panic__________travisauruss______ItsMyKitchenjoeyhuggles______SimplyNamedTronBudders88SilleVioGhostOfATrophy____Dana_BrunodirtyCDNbitchdjr_102LuvPug
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.

    • 1,753
    • FAVS
    onume_ObscureGentMamaFloresMomBeforeCoffeeMACHIN1STSmurfetteDEfellbehindgsu9696
    • 712
    • RETWEETS
    MACHIN1STgsu9696normancallmemashyexplodeyQuinnToWinMcKnightyBoothecuznedGaEMT2001
    ericonederfuldavid_tull10InchesPluslittlekitnerboytpurvis06TheDairylandDonfUCK_iSAAC_shruglordJosesLovesYouDurtMcHurttShaunRightNow23_Liessheseemslegitpotatokingpinbouncerface______ActuallyEmerson
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    After sex I won't be making you a sandwich. I'll be gently rolling you out of my bed with my foot, wishing you success in future endeavors.

    • 1,644
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentDanKCharnleyMateoNY23werehedgehogLambyMcSheepsHelmdawgEBrewskerRandomThoughtXO
    • 753
    • RETWEETS
    MateoNY23BandersnaaatchSarcasilicioushensackerRighttoddNarcissusMaxmusmiss_jerketteMischievousJam
    atDevinThe_SculptressgoodballsJazzzzzmina2loony1shwebby2__________KarenLyneButler
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.

    • 1,571
    • FAVS
    ObscureTrevorTheObscureGentschewstrokeObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleyMateoNY23
    • 741
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentMateoNY23hensackerMischievousJamElsyBeathStarksWeek__08Nyx
    SharpeBytesUnicornSyruphi5yoface________Scigglez__________PetPinkElephantthatstingsteacup_giraffe____KPsych29__________johngaysee
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Would anyone like to come over for some fancy nachos? They're just like regular nachos, but I leave my pants on.

    • 1,509
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleyMateoNY23mantejLambyMcSheepsHelmdawgE
    • 628
    • RETWEETS
    SarcasilicioushensackernospeakyouStarksWeek__dfizzel1DavidMorgan2485thefunlei08Nyx
    LuckoftheDraw86BillArrundalemattelgatoDBMaxPkarencreets______revenge_tanukisIronWangwarholearyshwebby2__________DavidOzmund
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Mom:"Thanks for not being a skinny whore." Me:"No problem. Thanks for not leaving me in a dumpster." How are we not in soup commercials?

    • 1,540
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPyroDegoDanKCharnleyMateoNY23werehedgehogmantej_GrinAndTonicHelmdawgE
    • 532
    • RETWEETS
    junejuly12jpuncholoGreGooglyMooglynospeakyouStarksWeek__herquietsideyouroldpalmerlemaddyalou
    BlondAmbitionTOiheartguntsBlairLoudlyNerd_Boner_________SirPrincessdhilliard74Lani_HaydenCrooklynMMA
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    On a scale of 1-10 how pissed will my Mom be if I go through her check book and write "for a bag of dicks," in every memo section?

    • 1,285
    • FAVS
    SergeantSchultzObscureTrevorTheObscureGentsmastergraceyObscureGentPyroDegoDanKCharnleywerehedgehog
    • 569
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentAudible_GaspHelmdawgELerkySarcasilicioustheMichelleCopeMischievousJam
    caperbc75fullblowndavepeachey_keenbaconNmeggsBoobzillaz
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    My preferred method of birth control is awkward & chubby.

    • 1,166
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleyMateoNY23werehedgehogmantejLambyMcSheeps
    • 487
    • RETWEETS
    HelmdawgEjunejuly12SarcasilicioushensackerjpuncholoMischievousJamcinderellashadoStarksWeek__
    GetCougarizedN60220638The_Opposed__
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    Any night can be date night if you sit close enough to strangers in the movie theater.

    • 1,003
    • FAVS
    onume_hurlariousJerWaydMsPhantasticalObscureGentIanTheligsterdonelleuMamaFlores
    • 612
    • RETWEETS
    _JORDashianHussamMhmdMamaFloresgsu9696HairyDBZEeahKaijudshack8OutOnTheMoors
    summerofbennymantejkentgrossarthm1ss_chiefwesjohnson8SeanEmenyWorldofSmithy____B_poling82vikkaroniahhhpatrick______
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    If you wake someone up saying "wakey wakey eggs and bakey" there better damn well be "eggs and bakey" or shits bout to get real.

    • 1,062
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentMamaFloresPyroDegoDanKCharnleywerehedgehogHelmdawgEWinterEzraSaluteMeIm_Me
    • 444
    • RETWEETS
    KatieCowgillJaybird12WSarcasiliciousRoechelleFoleyhensackerlisalala7440MischievousJamGreGooglyMoogly
    angelina_mxoxokneeeecolahh__joeyhuggles______ticknada
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    When I go a strange place alone I always hear the voice of Robert Stack from Unsolved Mysteries saying "on the last day of Angie's life..."

    • 1,072
    • FAVS
    onume_ObscureGentOLDIRTYDIAPEREmergencyQBjennslyngsu9696simonchollandDavidOvalle305
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    gsu9696KwamWritesdshack8StarksWeek__LipLush1dinalositoERN_Malleyscrubthepiptastic1
    Lani_Haydenlawyerthoughts2loony1ZeRoyalBaumer____
  • Adar79Angie
      Angie Davis @Adar79Angie

    What's with drawing the eyebrows on so high? Are you expecting some surprising news and planning accordingly?

    • 991
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPyroDegoDanKCharnleywerehedgehogrezervoirdog69Mz908HelmdawgEWinterEzra
    • 426
    • RETWEETS
    HelmdawgESarcasiliciousiAmDelFreakyjpuncholoElsyBeathStarksWeek__thefunleiLeagueofNope
    mahatmatweeter_sleepysmile
@Adar79Angie

@Adar79Angie
Pro

I still heart peen. I'm the Goodnight Duchovny girl. I try to make people laugh. Get ready for mediocre entertainment! America's Chubby Sweetheart #circlejerks