@afoolishwit's (Emmy) most faved Tweets...
If I ever have kids, I hope they like grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup from a pop-top can, or starving to death.
Someday my Prince will come. And he'll be like, "I would die 4 U." And I'll be like, "Spell that out, you lazy bastard."
I'd twitpic one of my bras, but I'd have to stand on the roof of my house to get the whole thing in frame.
For some reason, babies don't seem to like me. Or little kids. Also, regular kids. And teens, and old people. Adults, too.
Anyone else feel kinda sorry for the guy who plays the bundle of leaves in Fruit of the Loom commercials? He's not even proper fruit.
Cats are like walking depression sensors. This one just said, "I see you're needlessly emotional. I will allow you to pat my belly now."
First page of Twilight, already found some pronoun-antecedent issues. Hope the library doesn't mind my returning this book full of red ink.
I fear my follower count has reached its natural apex. Time to take some pouty-lipped cleavage shots from an angle that hides my face fat.
My life can never be complete until I've told a local news reporter, "He always did seem odd. Kept to himself, mostly."
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