Amanda Bynes arrested for DUI? Court dismissed.... BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS!

Mitt Romney looks like someone who would try to make "fetch" happen.

"Shine bright like a..." *turns off radio*

When Mitt Romney eats Lucky Charms he picks out all the rainbows because they're gay.

Mitt Romney looks like one of those assholes who hands out fruit for Halloween.

$5 says taylor swift tries to date the apocalypse.

My ADD, OCD and Laziness cancel each other out. It's like "this HAS to be perfect because...holy crap that's shiny, screw this I'm tired."

Apparently answering "ALL OVER YOUR NAKED BODY" when the Starbucks person says "want whipped cream?" IS FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

You misspelled "whore" and "all the time." RT: "@kimkardashian I'm such a dork sometimes LOL"

I emailed this to Nev from MTV's #catfish and I'm not sorry. pic.twitter.com/OZ7AL37v

if you say "holla" in the mirror 3 times a white girl in a northface jacket and uggs will appear and do the cup song from pitch perfect.

I've emailed a picture of my cat's butthole to Mitt Romney every single day for the past 4 months

retweet if you're a sassy black woman.

You're doing what to Kanye??? RT: "@kimkardashian on the plane, heading West!!!"

Demi and Ashton unfollowed each other.... It just got real.

Is "the gym" your girlfriends nickname? RT: "@chrisbrown bout to hit the GYM"

Perez Hilton is now a father. Of a child. Like... Someone actually gave Perez Hilton a baby. PEREZ HILTON HAS A HUMAN CHILD. I need a minute

and on the 7th day while God was resting Satan created the Kardashian family.

Kim & Kanye are naming their baby North. It's full name will literally be North West, in case you forgot why you hate humanity.

Santa is super famous and he barely even works one day a year... Is Santa a Kardashian?