when i'm 69 i'm going to spend the whole year laughing at my own age until i turn 70 and then i'll be a boring granny again.

retweeting people who have the same opinions as you but who just express theirs in a more fabulous way

hate the way people get loads of likes on their status' and photos just because of how popular they are, even if the stuff they post is shit

being an indie fish that doesn't swim in the mainstream

instead of periods we should just peacefully lay an egg every month like a hen or sumfin ok

i don't like people who only talk to people that they find attractive

how can anyone actually enjoy running. like seriously, the way people are like 'might go for a relaxing run'. RELAXING?? it makes me die.

dancing like will off the inbetweeners because you're fucking fabulous

oh you must be so proud to have so many followers for copying shit off facebook and acting like you made it up wow so original babe :):):)

it's awkward because your "awkward moment" tweet was so un-awkward that i now feel awkward on your behalf because you look like a tit

I hate the way popularity changes people.

i hate boobs they're so unecessary why can't people just squeeze their chubby cheeks instead

if frankie coconuts wins the x factor purely because he's fit and all these fangirls think with their ovaries, i will committ.

lol when lads are ALL wearing chinos and you're like 'you all look identical' and they're like 'no, we're wearing different shades of beige'

ey at least cher lloyd can upgrade her caravan now

missing people who don't miss you back is the worst feeling ever ugh

boys in skinny jeans shit all over boys in chino's :):)

why are there so many funny people on twitter omg this is clearly where all the fab people are. what even is facebook anyway.

The word 'lush' just has to be said in a Welsh accent.

swear i just spend my life making online shopping lists on topshop and asos and urban outfitters that i'll never be able to afford