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"I'm a Vegan. 9." - Vegan's answer to "Excuse me, what time does the mall close?"
Did you know that if you skinned Larry King & ironed out his leather, you could make enough coats to give 1 to every poor child in America?
Khloe Kardashian died :( RT @kimkardashian: Can't believe people would make up a sick joke like Cher died. These people need to get a life!
It's like they say, "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the Conservative Party."
@nancygracehln Ur twins R so beautiful! Can U do a segment about how @michaelianblack doesn't mutilate babies & should be face of @tacobell?
BC Liberal voters are like Nickleback fans: there are tons of them, but few are willing to admit it in public. #Bcpoli #bcelxn
I'll be at Chapters this morning signing random books from 10am-2pm (or until I get kicked out/arrested). Come down and say hi!
"The measure of a man is what man would do for a Klondike bar." - MLK, 1959 #obscureMLKquotes
My uncle lived everyday like it was his last. Also, my uncle is broke, in jail for credit card fraud and has hepatitis C.
Left a foot-long sub in the bathroom at work before heading out, if anyone's hungry.
I found this old picture of my son and I hunting... http://t.co/USFLhndT
I freaked my neighbors out by telling them I ran over their Pomeranian but actually I just ran over their 3 yr old! LOL April Fooled them!
C.E.O. OF JC Penney.
