@akantor's (Adam Kantor) most faved Tweets...
With my wife out of the house I can finally be the man around here, right after I clean the bathrooms and vacuum the basement.
While my wife was out with the kids I had all the locks changed. Let's see if she notices.
The only thing my mac is missing is someone talented and creative to use it.
The Bob Dylan Christmas CD is awesome. I've often wondered what a lizard with excess phlegm sounds like singing Winter Wonderland.
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I'm in Twitter limbo. I have the urge to tweet combined with an underlying feeling that no one gives a shit.
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My son just told me he is going to give me a "man puzzle" which I can only assume is a woman.
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It's a proven scientific fact that sandwiches cut in half by Mom increase in flavor by 125%.
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My thoughts are with all the people who've served in the armed forces to preserve our freedoms and way of life.
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KirstensDeskMrBigFistsRanGTJeanM617DadsUpLateStereoForBrainsbedheadblondeAdInsanitumIamDoubleGurbanprojectzhas2b_christyv
So, if we working people use Twitter all day, do those people who work at Twitter, work all day?
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My calendar is filled with things to do like this room is filled with air.
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KirstensDeskMrBigFistsRanGTJeanM617NikiWithIssuesStereoForBrainsbedheadblondeDadsUpLateSoniaDiamondurbanprojectz
When asked why he hit his cousin my 3yr old said "I am a legend, covered in jello." What the hell do you say to that?
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My 3yr old in no way respects the fact that I organized his Backyardigans DVDs by release date.
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In Canada we call American Thanksgiving, "Thursday".
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crankfetterKirstensDeskNikiWithIssuesStereoForBrainsm1key_m00nbedheadblondeTerriSueWhoSoniaDiamondThe_Sock_Puppet
999 roses means I'll love you till the end of time. 998 roses means get the hell out of my house you lying bitch.
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ImAwake2AmberRohrignavanaxThe_Sock_Puppettammyphinneysilentpyjamashas2b_christyvredtothetone
Laying in bed reading comics on my laptop. Don't worry, I have the covers pulled over my head and my flashlight shining at the screen.
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Stupid headache, lately I've been popping Tylenol like they're Vicodin.
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When my kids look back at at my tweets in 15 years they are probably going to say, Dad, you missed my childhood for this?
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crankfetterNikiWithIssuesCatHeroStereoForBrainsm1key_m00nbedheadblondeSoniaDiamondfactualfiction
I just found some chips under my keyboard. Could be a little fresher but whatever.
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CNN is now reporting that as of 10:42am there are no more original Tiger Woods jokes.
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I've been listening to an MP3 of a crowd cheering all day which has made everything I've done feel like a major accomplishment.
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