Came up with a new workout program. Step 1: begin with a broken a/c. Step 2: vacuum & mop whole house. Worked up more sweat than running

My A/C is dead. But on bright side the rain cooled the house down to 90 for me, so I got that going for me...

Meetings are even more frustrating when there is an unopened iPad waiting in my room...

“@talkinbaseball7: You had me at hello.

You lost me at give me the remote.”

-"I said it would be nice, I didn't say we should do it..."

After 10 days on my own I have a lot of cleaning to do before my wife gets home this afternoon!

Day 2 without a/c. Sounds like a hurricane in here with all the fans I have blowing....

Best part of driving my teenage kids for 4 hours is watching them squirm having to listen to my playlist!

-"If there's one thing I love more than a refreshing beverage, it's serotonin..."

HS assignment, write @ Xmas in a Spanish speaking country, 4 asked if France was a Spanish speaking country, 1 @ Canada... @ourstudentssay

-"if outside is so great, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?"

Just watched Black Swan. I'm SO confused but have an overwhelming urge to force Natalie Portman to eat...

“in 2 weeks, it will be the FUTURE”. @danejustin

Can't believe it is ONLY Tuesday night. This week may kill me...

it's all fun & game until someone loses an eye. Then it's one-eyed fun & games...

Hope they solve this debt crisis so we can get back to living the American dream: borrowing more money!

“@thechrisangel: if you ever say 'Stop' 2 me, I will be compelled 2 respond with 'Hammer Time' and then there will be long awkward silence.”

“@cfishing: Justin Bieber's spirit animal is an animal cracker.”

-"I informed you thusly, oh how I informed you thusly..."

Fox will have a Napolean Dynamite cartoon starting in January, flipping' awesome!