The emergency broadcast system is a FUCKING tease...always testing...never Armageddon!!!

Just ate a huge meal before snorting this bath salt so I should be fine right? ;)

Did you save all of this vent up aggression just for me?

I don't like cocaine per say....I just like the way it smells...;)

Our waitress says "I like to spread the word on new beers" I say that's not all your gonna spread! She's like what? I'm like nothing...;)

I had Twitter and instagram before it was cool...;) in related news me and ushostage wore camouflage shorts in 84...;) #suckittarget

Motherfuckin' Tacos!!!!...that is all...;)

If your tweet has any emo shit in it...go listen to Rage Against The Machine and get the fuck over yourself!!!!!

Analysis is a funny word...;)

So scientists are gonna bring back dinosaurs...your move Easter Bunny...;)

I think pantera sucks!!!!!

You know what's fun? Doing electrical work on a 16 ft. conductive ladder,while your phone is on vibrate in your pocket...;) #almostscaredme

@marleegirlee cheers...;) #thankyou

Go Fuck Yourself!!!!!

-inspirational tweet

Can one of you go pick up my brain at the bar and bring it to me at work? See if I left my charger too...;)

I hope those fuckers don't think they're coming over here to crash our party...;) pic.twitter.com/Wonu8Fi1HN

Learning institutions such as an unnamed east visalia one that run Saturday school death-camps for cell phone use are also on my shit list!

I never knew I was friends with so many "Steeler" draft experts on FB....and they do it for free....shut the fuck up!!!

I washed my 4runner this morning so of course it's raining...fucking moronologists!!!

Duck dynasty,a clown,don't cheat,like if god is your savior,meme,like my band,ad,desperate guy posting naked chick pics.

-Facebook