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you just cant waste your sins on any fucking body these days
Being a stay at home dad is awesome, unless you have kids.
if your fondest childhood memory is smoking crack under a slide, you're probably my uncle rayray..
My daughter wants cupcakes with skulls on em..I must be doing something right
like a moth through a flame...you're a dumb bitch
Excuse the fuck out of me. I forgot you were perfect as hell
fuck a typo, the past tense of tweet is twat..so, there's that shit
I don't wear underwear. you need pants for that...
the last time I was abducted by aliens, I woke up in the backseat of a ford probe in mexico with an avocado up my ass..out of this world..
my family tree is weed...
When it comes to letting myself down, I never let myself down
I have a thuggish ruggish boner to pick with you..
I hate reruns. except for that fat dude from 'whats happening'. he's pretty cool..
I burn bridges with the best accelerants..
I was thinking maybe there's a komodo dragon playing a piano inside of black holes
If you've never poured beer on pussy and let it run into your mouth with a funnel then fuck you..
Why the fuck is it so hard to read the scriptures off the side of this joint?
I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to me
God's plan is stupid
who? me? - guilty ass pronouns
I shot the sheriff with a syringe full of unicorn pee. I own gremlins
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