Please don't leave your halloween avi's up for 6 months like you do your Christmas lights you lazy bastards

I'm so full I can't see my dick

If the Jaguars are called the "Jags," and the Buccaneers the "Bucs," what does that make the Titans?

@dongeronimoshow Nancy Grace Lets A Nipple Slip During DWTS Performance (NSFW) (video) http://t.co/yWQ8hmGC"

I wonder if anyone would notice if I just walked off the job...... I mean how hard would it be to find a school bus full of children?

I just woke up.....I had a dream.......do I get my own holiday now?

@sweet_toof California is totally spooning Nevada #statesex

@nottychrissy smokin hot ;)

I saw a lot of ass avi's today. Here its my top 3 and yes I'm a professional. 1. @mommie_ej 2. @theplumpudding 3. @heyyoufuckthis

@mommie_ej @theplumpudding *standing ovation* Bravo! Bravo! *throwing roses* Bravo! Bravo!

If you want to follow a real life MILF, check out @mommie_ej smoking hot and funny as hell #ff

I'm a grinder not a bumper

I would totally scissor if I could......but I'm more of a brad

Truthful Tuesday: My ass has way more hair on it then it should

I haven't masturbated all day. I've been saving it for you *wink* #MCTC

@hadzilla @sweet_toof @nickschug had a girl give me a Nick Swisher before

Do u like it when my tongue goes side to side, up and down our around in circles on you?

Morning breath is god's way of saying morning wood is not for sex

You all should #ff @ixseanxi Dudes hilarious! And he's fucking hard core

@mommie_ej @misskristibell greatest tweet ever!