538 has Obama at 80%, but that's also the hit % for a pokemon using Thrash. I've seen that miss with my own two eyes. I've seen serious shit

Google Glasses: Because I want to take all the instability, fragmentation, and clumsiness of Android & strap it directly to my fucking face

To students at GDC, remember: The amount of shit you talk about a dev is directly proportional to the chance that they're right behind you.

#FiveWordTEDTalks first-world savior complex rodeo

"Man did you hear the new iPad is gonna have 5G and 3D webcams sub-pixel image densi-" HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE. IT IS BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE.

Google makes a car. It is released without axles, but has a dock for Android phones. After months of driver fatalities, they add headlights.

No I will not friend your fucking dog on facebook. How fucking white do you think I am

I can't express how amused I am that our culture now associates "marathon" with sitting your ass all day and watching Pawn Stars.

Haha. Bacon. Epic bacon equality. Lol. Ftw. Bacon. NOM! Epic bacon zombie. Moustache. Haha bacon for the epic win. Winfailbacon pirate ninja

The Life of a Meme: 4chan -> Reddit -> George Takei -> Facebook -> Your wall -> My eyes. Then I unfriend you because you're an idiot

EVERYPONY SHUT UP ABOUT THIS KONY STUFF. WE HAVE TO SAVE DERPY #AmericaFirst

Let me quash those rumors for you: The "Xbox 720" speculation? It's just a 360 strapped to a bear. The hardware guys are pretty hardcore.

I don't listen to EDM anymore but any time I log onto Facebook and see another shit relationship take form I think "wait for the drop"

@tricialockwood Donated, my only demand is that this image appear on the lens just outside his peripheral vision http://t.co/F8Quc7BF

The Reapers, themselves speaking only in Dubstep, arrive to cleanse the galaxy of any organic life forms responsible for Skrillex

Pokemon Snap does not reward me for my judicious implementation of the Rule of Thirds and this irritates me.

Mom, dad, meet my waifu. "Son that's a drawing of Aerith. Except you named her 'Kitsune'" Dad fuck you. She's Aerith's Nobody. Fuck you dad

New Doritos Eternity©. We Stare Into The Flavor Abyss And The Flavor Abyss Stares Back

Kinect takes 1 pic of you every day. After 10K Gamerpoints, it plays a slideshow of you aging superimposed over people enjoying nature

To all my guy friends: The "Friend Zone" is a sixth sense for assholes. Legitimately nice people don't realize or care that they're in it.