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I can't believe Adam Carolla thinks wee man isn't that funny.
Clarissa Explains It All In Her Suicide Note #DepressingSitcoms
I'm starting a health fitness club marketed towards Christians called Pontius Pilates.
Boneless Chicken Nugs & Harmony #fatbands
"Drape jokes aren't funny."-my curtain
I'm writing a script about having no money in your bank called "Insufficient Puns" starring PayPal Pacino and directed by Orson Welles Fargo
I want to write a script starring Natalie Portman as a football linebacker called, "Un-Portman Like Conduct"
Virgins have thrust issues.
I really hope J.K. Rowling's mother's name is L.O.L. Rowling.
"I'm not shitting you."-cannibal refusing to eat best friend
Little Known Fact: People that died of an Ecstasy overdose are rolling in their grave.
The Mayans were right. Ernest did go to jail.
Chastity suspenders would be way cooler.
I always write FRAGILE on boxed mail I send out just so the carriers know to be careful with the baby.
The LAPD takes more random shots than Metta World Peace.
"I wanna shoop myself in the head."-depressed Salt-N-Pepa
The Independent Cab Co. is very dependent on cars.
I'm trying to get rid of my tampon collection. No strings attached. DM me.
My friend said that the game Tekken is racist. I don't think it is at all, but Tekkken is a different story.
The hands of car mechanics are always in black face.
i write and tell jokes, eat alphabet soup and listen to ATCQ.