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I can't believe Adam Carolla thinks wee man isn't that funny.
Clarissa Explains It All In Her Suicide Note #DepressingSitcoms
It's always important to turn the other cheek, especially when you're mooning someone. You don't want them to miss anything.
I'm starting a health fitness club marketed towards Christians called Pontius Pilates.
Boneless Chicken Nugs & Harmony #fatbands
Jesus was great at cross promotion.
"Drape jokes aren't funny."-my curtain
I'm writing a script about having no money in your bank called "Insufficient Puns" starring PayPal Pacino and directed by Orson Welles Fargo
I want to write a script starring Natalie Portman as a football linebacker called, "Un-Portman Like Conduct"
I think the name Red Bull is really offensive to Native American bulls.
Virgins have thrust issues.
I wonder if Henry David ever wore Thoreau-back jerseys.
How To Start WWIII: Walk into Starbucks wearing a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf shirt and ask for an orange dream machine.
I really hope J.K. Rowling's mother's name is L.O.L. Rowling.
"I'm not shitting you."-cannibal refusing to eat best friend
Little Known Fact: People that died of an Ecstasy overdose are rolling in their grave.
The Mayans were right. Ernest did go to jail.
Chastity suspenders would be way cooler.
Little Known Fact: Keith Sweat has a twin brother named Bobby Anti-Perspiration.
i write and tell jokes, eat alphabet soup and listen to atcq and J5.