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I don't know what's worse, a balloon popping unexpectedly, or opening a can of biscuits.
You can make any song sound like a hiphop song by placing "that ass" somewhere in the title. Try it!
I just want somebody to occupy my vagina.
"His accent made my butt tingle."
At the DMV trying not to breathe too deep. Don't want to catch Contagion.
A movie's box office sales don't make it good or bad. Sure, a lot of people saw The Devil Inside, but a lot of people voted for Hitler too.
My sock keeps sliding down in my shoe and the human condition and cats.
I want to know what men think they look like in them big ass church suits.
If I ever took a picture with Kevin Spacey, I would never need to take another picture again. :(
Maybe the kind of man I want doesn't occur in nature.
If I was attracted to homeless old men, I'd have like a million boyfriends.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but don't nobody wanna behold that shit.
I just thought to myself "I wonder what year it is in Russia right now..."
Why does every white person think they're part Irish? I guess the same reason every black person thinks they're part Cherokee.
It's harder to dislike a woman when she has a raspy voice.
I wish I could give up on life enough to get a pornhub account because sometimes I'm just dying to leave comments.
Does Dean Koontz realize his last name is Koontz?
I KEEP ACCIDENTALLY WATCHING THE BIG BANG THEORY.
I hate how people say "I love how..." when they mean "I hate how..."
Patè is just potted meat, y'all.
Capricorn. In case you wanted to know how deep I am.