Every time I cough, the dog thinks I'm barking at him.

I pour myself a cup of tea, but forget to drink it.
Somehow, that never happens with beer.

My dieting tip.

Poo more.

Who are all you people?
Why are you more fascinating than people I know in real life?
Why do you all live so far away?

Ah, the weekend. Quality time with my computer.

Going by Favrd I'm only funny to 1 person at a time. Usually a different person. Imagine Stand Up like that, taking turns laughing. Weird.

I have nothing to say.
There, I've said it.

On my evening walk with dog I passed conveyor belt walking folk. They were staring out the window at a blank wall.
A gym, they call it. Odd.

Why do people always go for the sad, white jumpsuit wearing Elvis, rather than the happy, hip swaying, always gets the girl Elvis?

A lot of stereotyping going on tonight. I can read a map, drive a car and cut you up with a circular saw.

I should stop assuming when they say "you look great" they mean "you look less crap than last time I saw you."

"If you followed this person, maybe you'd like to follow this 1."
Don't Amazon me, Twitter. I have a brain, I can think for myself.

Lambs are so cute, I just want to eat them all up.

It's now Christmas in Australia
1. Yes, we do Christmas too.
2. At the same time of year as you (slightly in the future)
3. It is not Winter

Everyone in their 20's looks 12 to me now.

Transylvania, home of ridiculous accents.

I'm really over LOL.
I think we should bring back "guffaw."
I'm happy with the young people spelling it GU4, if they so desire.

I have a kilo of Australian honey. I have 2 packets of crumpets. I'm not sharing.

I believe in Dog

Yay, final chemo session over! Too sleepy to celebrate yet, but the sparkly's in the fridge awaiting.