@officialsenerio fandamntastic Brother forwarding to DJ Joanie to give a listen.

String Theory: If you see a string you do not wanna go in there it could get messy.

Is the opposite of constipated prostipated?

When I sneeze I always say "excuse me"before you can say "bless you". If I wanted your blessing I'd beat it out of you.

@minutesofmayhem got my own fleshlight on your recommendation. My dog ate it out and left me with a nifty cup holder.

I used to be a spy and was an expert sniper until I stopped lying. Oh, I also had a big weiner.

When I was 12 I discovered my imaginary friend Penis, I've played with him ever since.

I think my Google search history puts me on Santa's Naughty List.

Only need 2 more followers to get to 300. Come on over to the dork side. I hate you.

This 140 character thing makes me use words like; musta, kinda, coulda, and fuck alot.

@_vaginasaurus @chunkywhiteguy I like a girl with sideburns who doesn't.

Is Dick Clark doing the rapture countdownm

Who gives a rats ass if Beyonce' used a pre-recording,
She lip-synced amazingly. Isn't there somebody dying somewhere?
#Stupidpress #NotNews

@samuel_clemons
fluey ferret may just be my favorite pairing of words in any language.

Giving a shit is alot harder than taking one.

Flash mobs are nothing more than a desperate cry for attention and automatic rifle fire.

@fabulosokids It's important all our children know household chores have no gender roles thanks for all you guys do. #FollowFriday

#3ThingsILearned
1. you can light cat's farts
2. cats don't like having their farts lit
3. I only learned 2 things

I hooked a rotary dial phone up to my computer to use Skype, my computer laughed at me and started playing Oregon Trail all by itself.

Don't worry I don't bite.
I'm more afraid of me than I am of you.