"Can we get a dog?" "No" "Kitty?" "No" "Baby?" "Yeah okay" (Babies shed the least hair)

Mom is watching Maya Bazaar for what I'm sure is the 1111th time and is still giggling at Savitri's comedy. #Classic #Telugumovies

Apple products are like cats. You don't really own them, they own you.

Irk her while she's PMSing, and you will get what you deserve. pic.twitter.com/lX2FzX1sT1

I speak RIGHT AFTER Azaruddin and RIGHT BEFORE Owaisi. Sure there's a reason why. Thank you DC.  http://youtu.be/rrT-EqUN9y0 

I do a mean belly dance but I don't really need to get up for that.

.@droz Called friend who was taking too long in the loo, asked "are you doing poop" little loud. Now whole mall knows. Damage control tips?

Just overheard thin girl praising fat girl's hair. Typical.

HUGE difference between Angry Young Man and Basically An Asshole.

Just reading my tweets to figure out when I was PMSing last.

.@droz I asked my cousin if she felt like she was taking a giant shit from her vagina during childbirth & now she won't talk to me anymore?

Every piece of news about the 5 year old in Delhi feels like a punch to the guts.

Have deep respect for those that have babies and/or puppies and do not put their pics on Facebook. Takes a lot.

PLUG: @samahaara #ActingSchool  http://samahaara.org/blog/archives/545 …

Also it's clear what they consider the ideal of beauty. Look at the people they have featured. #Dove

Whatever will I do with all my free time now? #PornBan

HYDERABAD: Please RT "@samahaara: For all those whose who have been asking us for a course in Film Acting...  http://fb.me/tOJZVmFP "

I wish I gave at least a small-sized shit about the IPL.

Why bother with Homeopathy? Come to me, I'll do Hocus Pocus Choo Mantar for flat fee Rs.50/-. Any and all ailments.

MAGGIE THATCHER WAS ALIVE ALL THIS TIME?