I don't know who the hell I'm following sometimes.

I know I may have suggested I love you guys some days ago, but I was drunk, and well..
I just think you're nice.

I should start looking more thoroughly through people's tweets before I follow them, and make sure they're not absolutely fucking

sane.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, IM WATCHING LION KING!"

Something I knew I'd say sometime in my adult life.

My 2yo niece just pushed my breasts apart like she was going to find something in there.
Unrelated: I found a toonie.

Everybody in twitter is sexy.

Oh, I'm sorry, that's sexist.
Everybody on twitter is sexist.

I love my niece, but I don't like babysitting sometimes because Barney.

I've been RTing more than I've been tweeting lately. Hmm.
Boobies.

I like it when people fav my tweets, because they look like my cute little harem in that collection of av's down there.

I ain't kidding.

My scrabble word is snooze. IT'S A COINCIDENCE!

I just started drinking., I don't know why I'm yelling.

I always get junk @'s when I retweet you guys, but I still do it.
So, I either love you guys, or..
Or..
Meh, I'll get back to you on that.

Waitress: How old are you?
Me: 22
Her: You married?
Me: Ah, no.
Her: You're late.
Me: Yeah.. Wait, WHAT?

Chinese food comes with judgement.

Ihave a habit of standing around like I'm waiting for a ride when I'm really just stealing wireless. Perfectly legal.

What, do I have to start getting manipulative and possessive to get a boyfriend around here?

Complaining and swearing always helps you find things.

"FUCK! WHERE'S THAT COCK SUC- oh, there's my keys."

Sometimes people don't realize my jokes are jokes so I just go ahead and snicker alone in the corner.

Was just shown a picture of two guys kissing while I was in bed.
I was all 'fuuuuuuuuuuu'
... and yeah, I'm surprised I'm a girl too.

I only remember Dance Central moves when I'm semi-drunk. I don't know whether to be happy or not, but the me at this very moment is pleased.

I am starting to suspect that these people are drinking behind my back.
That, or I am. Hard to tell.

I'm beyond reverse psychology. I just do what you tell me to.