At some point you have to get your shit together else you'll end up 30 years old with fb albums full of memories and a vagina full of AIDS.

#SecondarySchoolMemories The time somebody signed the late book as "Hazel Manning" and under "Reason" they put "Meeting" #DEAD #SAGHS

Taylor Swift is trying the whole Alanis Morissette thing except without the obscenity thing, the fucking thing and the good music thing.

I think even if the world ends on the 21st December 2012 somehow the Indian Expo would manage to survive and be "EXTENDED!" into 2013.

#SecondarySchoolMemories Mrs Stewart asking "Quelle est la date aujourd'hui?" and us saying "Or should we say..."

Idk why people fight up on Star 94.7's wall requesting songs. You are already on the internet. Maintain a fucking YouTube nah.

What is up with people who accept lesbians but not homosexual guys? #gayisgayisgay #notjustporn

#SecondarySchoolMemories Watching movies in the AV room on sponge even a vagrant would scorn.

#SecondarySchoolMemories Having free periods for Mr Maharaj's CAPE Math class because he was in MovieTowne with Lyndi-Ann.#truestory

Adding Rk, Wkd or Oah to the end of your name on fb is a sure way to let everyone know you frequent Trincity Mall and are 14 and under.

The awkward moment when you overhear ugly people laughing at "ugly people" and you realize that ignorance is truly bliss.

I feel so awkward when overweight people BOAST about how much they can drink and not get drunk. It's because you are essentially two people.

Please God/TTEC don't let electricity go tonight. I am running out of pints of blood to donate to the mosquitoes. #ThisIsNotCharity

Why do people sign their names at the end of #facebook comments? I can see your motherfucking name and your motherfucking face already.

#MeAndYouCantDate if you listen to chutney.

I am not a hater. I am an observant, judgmental asshole.

If someone unfollows you quietly because they dislike your tweets, don't feel offended. Be grateful that they did not subtweet you to death.

V for Vendetta is the best movie ever. "People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people."

So apparently SAGHS, Convent AND Hillview all had shit hand prints in their bathrooms. All prestige schools. Recipe for success perhaps?

#SecondarySchoolMemories Finding shit hand prints on the bathroom walls. ... ... ...