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just been told by my Doctor that Im colour blind.... that came completely out of the orange
Nooo!GIRLY GIRLS.Did you know that the 'fairy dust' that powers your cars is made from the ashes of fairies incinerated by marauding goblins
Im holding a charity gig today for people who fail to acheive orgasm. Dont worry if you cant come
Just had a txt from a mate whos back from the world blindfold wanking championships. Hes got no idea where he came
Webtrovert-Someone who is a shy introvert in real life, but turns into a full-on extroverted party animal on Twitter. A few here, I bet.
When all the leaves fall off the big tree I can no longer get undressed in front of the window.
Thinking about changing my profession and specialising in male to female sex changes. Calling it Gash Converters.
ok Im about to slow time down to eek out the rest of Sunday and put off Monday, watch out for the lurch and put down whatever youre holding.
Dont u hate it when someone borrows your pen, then they forget to return it and you lose all your pigs.
RT @cardinalphink: "What do we want?"
"A cure for Tourettes"
"When do we want it?"
"Cunts!"”
VIRGO: Well done you! The therapy is working fine & you're having no more paranoid subliminFIND THE WHORE BURN THE WHOREal message episodes
15yo - " I just had a nap that got out of hand" - she's funny&makes me laugh.
Just woke up from a kippette. Saw Gloria Gaynor at the end of the bed. At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
I was forced to drink last night as I was told it would cheer me up. Funny thing was, it did!
Ive totally&utterly been run off my feet today. Wish the public would recognise how bloody hard we work #probation