Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I ain't evil, I'm just good-looking.
heaven help us there are already people wearing shamrock antennae
Ron's mom will be here in 2 hours so I gotta hide my entire weed stash (IN MY LUNGS no one will think to look there).
My Internet girlfriend is Carmen Sandiego.
Django Unchained was sold out. It took me a long time to slash all the tires in the Eastgate Cinema parking lot.
I'm day drinking bourbon in a biker bar.
Jesus Save Me (A Seat at the Elvis Concert)
Mommy needs a martini.
I want to fill a baby bottle with Bailey's and go back to bed.
Two words: dump truck pool party.
gonna go have halftime sex brb
Softball chicks have ponytails as thick as porn star cocks.
Birds, you've left me with no other option but to shit in your nests.