Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
By the power vested in me I now pronounce you blocked & deleted. You may kiss my ass!
Sometimes I get depressed & then I remember I have big boobs & everything seems ok
No Officer, my speech isn't slurred.
Im just talking in cursive.
You know your life revolves around the Twittersphere when you have to add another time zone to your clock!
My life is just a bunch of "It seemed like a good idea at the time" strung together
Weekend Forecast: Mostly Drunk, with a chance of horny
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone onto your bed & it bounces off 3 walls, the bed head & kills the cat!
I had the most vivid dream about you last night. You came into my bedroom & laid beside me... I swear I touched you... For the first time.
"It's long & thin. I think I prefer short & thick"
My mum about the iPhone5
Kiss her heart & her lips will follow
Short skirt + Windy City streets = More attention than Twitter
So, how pregnant did you get her mouth?
The trouble is, You think you have time.
Thelma & Gavin #ReplaceAMovieTitleWithGavin
I am totally dancing in front of my mirror while singing & making my bed!
Spinster & Lunatic reporting. Catch this shoe whore singing into a hairbrush in a bathroom near you (Insert your @ here)