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Beyonce named her baby Blue Ivy. I'm guessing Snooki will name her baby Orange Troll? #MamaSnooks
I named my mixtape "ammonster's mash"
I looked up in the sky and saw a vampire and werewolf fighting over a girl. #eclipse
"If a redhead works at a bakery, does it make them the Ginger Bread Man?"
Besides shorts, men need an alternative for pants. I'm considering buying a kilt to let me legs flow with the wind.
There are literally 2 people that I haven't completely talked shit about and that is all.
Brb, I gotta go tell the Backstreet Boys why.
Wednesday. I guess I have to leap and hump today.
#YouMIghtBeAStonerIf you... uh.. what was I gonna tweet?
That pause Dora does when she asks me a question. #thingslongerthankimksmarriage
Did you just twerk on the oven for cinnamon rolls?
The turn down was too real. Naps shouldn't end at 11:45p