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if I was good and fast at sewing I would open up a shop called Tailor Swift
going to start an airline called Ampersand Air where no one is allowed to talk on the aircraft.
literally everything could be covered in chameleons
getting sexy pics of your girlfriends is way better than any dick pic, ever.
coat checks in Minnesota should be complimentary, always. the end dot com period forever
it's cute and funny when non-twitter people can't comprehend how you can "meet" people thru Twitter
stop what you are doing. think about what you are doing. is it going to hurt someone else? don't fucking do it.
tweeting about watching porn is tricky because my aunt follows me and tells my mom that I'm vulgar. HI AUNT MARY.
notice to all my ex-boyfriends girlfriends after me: you will never, ever be as cool as me. and I will always give better BJ's.
may you find $20 in the pocket of the coat you haven't worn since this time last year
an ampersand is an & sign, ya dummy!
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