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I watched the debate on PBS to spite Romney/Ryan. #vpdebate
Glad childhood dreams don't come true because when I was 11 I wanted to open up a store that only sold CD singles.
I could watch a whole episode of just Roger Sterling and Sally Draper. #MadMen
Maybe it's weird that my first crush was on Dale but at least it wasn't on Chip, the uptight lame-o Rescue Ranger.
Never have so many guys noticed my jewelry as when I wore my new slice of pizza earrings yesterday.
Captain America would be cool to date because think of all the TV shows he's missed that I could get him hooked on
"This is Bisquick, not Bisquit!" --what I'd say if I were a manager at the Bisquick Corporation and one of my employees put in notice
The #Nerdist blog chose us as one of the best videos of the week! http://www.nerdist.com/2013/05/the-5-most-intentionally-funny-videos-this-week-51413/ …
"But I thought there were no rules here, right?" --a guy who just murdered a dude in an Outback Steakhouse
Hoarders but for people who keep so many browser tabs open they can't tell what any of them are
Can't believe we haven't tweeted all the tweets, but well, here we are.