@amynicole21's (Amy) most faved Tweets...
The next time the office skank uses the term "cool beans," I'm going to shove 1983 up her ass with an Atari controller.
At what point in history did cat-skinning become so popular that more than one method was necessary?
If I ever find out who keeps shrinking my pants, I'm going to strangle them. Then I'm going to steal all of their cookies.
One week into being a non-smoker, and my sense of smell is returning. Related: People are gross, and you all stink.
If people could customize the font and text color of their tweets, I think I would have to brutally bitchslap 92% of twitter users.
Hour 2 of trying to quit smoking: I want to set every mother-effing one of you on fire and dance on your smoldering souls. Good start!
Being a parent of young children is like being a planet around which hungry, needy, whiny moons orbit continuously. Without stopping. Ever.
Just finished cleaning a suspiciously empty litter box. Either the cat will soon explode, or you should never, ever let my dog lick you.
Anyone willing to adopt & nurture a slightly used & disoriented redhead? Stuff's too hard now & I no longer care to be a grown up.
Stupid Mr. Clean magic eraser did NOTHING for these stretch marks, dark circles and cellulite. Suck it, Baldie!
Sometimes, the best part about having long red hair is immediately being able to identify it as yours when pulling it out of your food.
All that glitters is not Gold. In my experience, most strippers' names are more like "Diamond" and "Jade."
If you have to ask whether your outfit is too slutty for a child's birthday party, you already have your answer.
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