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  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    I washed and put away the flannel sheets. If experience tells me anything, that means it will snow tonight.

    • 147
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamGeekAttackjobie_obieUnderchildeMyNutsAreMixed____kidarainbowsmooturkey________jeanieville
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    behernsUnderchildeMyNutsAreMixed____scott_towelTuna_LoverJimmerThatisAllfavstar1000favsbestofcomicsRT____
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    My timeline is filled with people saying, “Goodnight!” and then tweeting for another hour.

    • 121
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamMyNutsAreMixed____B1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowsmooturkey________wortmusikMacAnnabellaLittleJimmy61____
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    MyNutsAreMixed____MacAnnabellascott_towelfavstar1000favsJimmerThatisAllFavstar500FavshaurdCiderDaPrinzOfBelAir__
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    You’ve heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Well, I inadvertently had two today. Starting to feel very important.

    • 102
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamB1gBrainsMcGeeamaroto__kidarainbowslamapaulSacamanoBMacAnnabellaBeerhaze
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamfavstar1000favsSacamanoBTuna_Loverenragedpaigepeterjames48Kalel0119MiekieBloo
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    I like to freeze leftovers for a month or two before throwing them away.

    • 109
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamB1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowsmooturkey________EDDammMacAnnabellaCheeseboy22killyougood
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyMacAnnabellakaminowitzscott_towelfavstar1000favsAdamGKirkwestcoastgurl____Tuna_Lover
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a pink Hummer for the first time. The windows were tinted, so I couldn’t tell if Barbie or Ken was driving.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamB1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowsmooturkey________twilighteyes08MacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCool
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    TeflonPawnTuna_Loverscott_towelJessiHouserJimmerThatisAllFavstar500FavsVerbalTeddyJoanOfSnark13____
    HulaBabee
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    There’s nothing like unloading most of the dishwasher and then realizing the dishes are still dirty.

    • 83
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkidarainbowspaul_shinnheather_venterHeatherAnne75Talkinghands69chickencounterfinancecharge
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    music_mumzy2BetterThanYou_xbbmac25Eagle_VisionMacAnnabellascott_towelTuna_LoverFavstar500Favs
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a billboard advertising Quaker Steak & Lube, which sounds like a really bad oatmeal flavor.

    • 56
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamB1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowstwilighteyes08paul_shinnMacAnnabellaEagle_VisionManginaMcCool
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsTuna_LoverJimmerThatisAllCorkWithAC________darlanaseureauBrohamuletmitdaseinEHmihlee__________
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    A friend is taking me out to lunch to “discuss something.” I hope she doesn’t want one of my kidneys.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamB1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowsmooturkey________twilighteyes08paul_shinnMacAnnabellaBeerhaze
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    TarkikMacAnnabellaarkac2Favstar500Favsscott_towelTuna_LoverJaneErrrrkaminowitz
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Had the “Georgia O’Keeffe Flower Paintings” talk with my kid.

    • 50
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamHearNotDavesLIRPA73trumpetcakeZoranTaylorPugnaciousJoneswokkax3CritelliComedy
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    ZoranTaylorCritelliComedyJohnLyonTweetsShaistaJustinscott_towelHyperObserverGerardMulligan1LadyBizarro__
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    My 8yo made pancakes for me. I just had to get out the ingredients, pour oil in the pan, flip the pancakes, and heat up the syrup.

    • 54
    • FAVS
    B1gBrainsMcGeekidarainbowstwilighteyes08MaggsMahonepaul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsFRANKSTALICIOUS
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsTuna_LoverkaminowitzKentTheG__________NunovyerbiznisJimmerThatisAllLadyKnScottFilmCritic
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    I have to eat six about-to-expire yogurts today. Talk about culture shock.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamTeejayRushdxblarssonENGWhimsical84kidarainbowsthelorlor12______mooturkey________twilighteyes08
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    TeejayRushFocusedOnBeerWhimsical84gangsterball666mooturkey________MacAnnabellaBottomtheBassetYouxia88
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    I can’t wait for Talk Like a Valley Girl Day, fer sure, fer sure! That’ll be grody to the max.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    kidarainbowspaul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCooljeanievilleCheeseboy22CatnapMaven
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    CatnapMavenFavstar500FavsTuna_LoverJimmerThatisAllDaPrinzOfBelAir__DARNLIZZY
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Made it to the Post Office two minutes before they closed. This must be how my kids feel when they beat a level in a video game.

    • 50
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkidarainbowstwilighteyes08paul_shinnMacAnnabellakillyougoodkaminowitzscott_towel
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    scott_towelTuna_LoverJimmerThatisAllMrErvmartin_gerberJesusCakeMichaelJSealyjezebelsbody______
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    My family wants to eat dinner again tonight. This is getting ridiculous.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamTKMonikerkimnabqYour_Boy_Dylangoeres_annettemits_andersTheMongoose69gemballzz
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamKxRSTYhappyandbashfulWorldWithoutEndSpankMeIm0tynotpornprobablyYeaImCartermilesmarkovic
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    A friend who is nine months pregnant came over last night. I made her sit on a tarp.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    KentWGraham24skidooFecesIsShitTeejayRushWhimsical84MyNutsAreMixed____eThomasCochranederbyjames
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    TeejayRushWhimsical84MyNutsAreMixed____scott_towelmanicsocraticVN_RubenManginaMcCoolBeerhaze
    Beerhaze
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Me: "Take a rice cake with you. They don't go bad." My son: "They don't go good either."

    • 47
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkidarainbowstwilighteyes08paul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCoolTuna_Lover
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    enragedpaigepeterjames48RollingKansasJimmerThatisAllpumpkinsamaltuckerwoodenmaskLavenderPoet
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    I was surprised when 3 teenagers rang the bell and asked to see their dad. Luckily they belonged to the contractor. Hubby lives another day.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkidarainbowsmooturkey________twilighteyes08paul_shinnCourtCost34bearcatsassy_lassy87
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    34bearcatsassy_lassy87MacAnnabellathe_distractorJimmerThatisAllLimosaFedoa
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    An inspirational tweets account unfollowed me after a few hours. Guess they could tell I already have my act together.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamAnne__SextoneTHEgoddesschristinawilderDanOfTheDaycelestinelea90eborg01flashember
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    mujibfuzzlimeeborg01emilio__oilimeCheeseboy22scott_towelabsolutemehAvatar_unknown_48
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a car with a wreath and candy cane on its grille. Now I feel bad. I usually just give my car a fresh tank of gas for Christmas.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahamkidarainbowstwilighteyes08onedavedeeppaul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCool
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_popsexylinglingJustinJoLovatokeef_ButturFlieshaurdCider
    haurdCider
  • amyzesbaugh
      Amy Zesbaugh @amyzesbaugh

    Found a pedometer I bought two months ago. So that’s a step in the right direction.

    • 50
    • FAVS
    KentWGrahammooturkey________paul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCoolscott_towelKentTheG__________
@amyzesbaugh

@amyzesbaugh

I have happiness management issues.