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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Gift @amyzesbaugh Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 160
    • LIKES
    beingtheoKarenLyneButlerchompy_jrFreckledgingerbcm_rutvikSoWeirditsCoolGypsysoul__bu77on
    • 13
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    mohamudmohamudMaui_SpeaksnjlitigatorbehernsUnderchildeMyNutsAreMixed____scott_towelTuna_Lover
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    I like to freeze leftovers for a month or two before throwing them away.

    • 131
    • LIKES
    KarenLyneButlerMrBob_52lvvzzReezyIsMyNamedietredbullmlb_matoslarivergirlitsdonnaok
    • 20
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    lvvzzsvxj0SledgeHamerlyAngieissoMaui_Speakschompy_jrmohamudmohamudfavstar_history
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    My timeline is filled with people saying, “Goodnight!” and then tweeting for another hour.

    • 133
    • LIKES
    MrBob_52chompy_jrcm_rutvikbu77onmarkste71128147CCRunsbees_wingzMegliana_Star
    • 12
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    mohamudmohamudnjlitigatorMyNutsAreMixed____MacAnnabellascott_towelfavstar1000favsJimmerThatisAllFavstar500Favs__
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    You’ve heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Well, I inadvertently had two today. Starting to feel very important.

    • 118
    • LIKES
    KarenLyneButlerNumSayinSRQ2UMrBob_52beingtheochompy_jrcm_rutvikpjux
    • 26
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    MrBob_52chompy_jrmohamudmohamudzappileeleemujibnjlitigatorKentWGrahamfavstar1000favs
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a pink Hummer for the first time. The windows were tinted, so I couldn’t tell if Barbie or Ken was driving.

    • 106
    • LIKES
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    • 14
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    HulaBabee
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    A friend is taking me out to lunch to “discuss something.” I hope she doesn’t want one of my kidneys.

    • 85
    • LIKES
    Traceykemp8SRQ2Ucanadian_janegomustangoMrBob_52SturgeonQueensInnocent_prickJosephm44
    • 25
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    There’s nothing like unloading most of the dishwasher and then realizing the dishes are still dirty.

    • 92
    • LIKES
    MrBob_52HuIIabaloo11704e190f92492ms73killazillachompy_jrcm_rutvikbu77on
    • 12
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    My 8yo made pancakes for me. I just had to get out the ingredients, pour oil in the pan, flip the pancakes, and heat up the syrup.

    • 77
    • LIKES
    Breathe_ttaesmith712Sally5977aparticularwaykeller_instinct3sunzzzUncleBob56DickVomet
    • 22
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a billboard advertising Quaker Steak & Lube, which sounds like a really bad oatmeal flavor.

    • 71
    • LIKES
    MrBob_52ApocalypseBnGscubaristarBDGarpSpacePlanktonClew64BillFlewellingshariv67
    • 18
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    A friend who is nine months pregnant came over last night. I made her sit on a tarp.

    • 72
    • LIKES
    figgledchubbypolockYesImMattMaui_SpeaksWideWorldOfMatt_blueviolet_desertdirtySamLoonie
    • 13
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    Beerhaze
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Had the “Georgia O’Keeffe Flower Paintings” talk with my kid.

    • 60
    • LIKES
    themafinchNotOwenMeanyMrBob_52notthat_1GypsymoondustMaxForgotMindless4Milesbeingtheo
    • 23
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    NotOwenMeanyFilterlessFemmeGypsymoondustMindless4Milesamyespesethbeingtheochompy_jrmohamudmohamud
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Me: "Take a rice cake with you. They don't go bad." My son: "They don't go good either."

    • 55
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    NotOwenMeanyNumSayinbeingtheoMrBob_52gypcqueen83krissywillbretzscott_towelnjlitigator
    • 13
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    MrBob_52gypcqueen83mohamudmohamudenragedpaige__peterjames48RollingKansasJimmerThatisAllpumpkinsam
  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Made it to the Post Office two minutes before they closed. This must be how my kids feel when they beat a level in a video game.

    • 54
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    MrBob_52chompy_jrgypcqueen83njlitigatorKentWGrahamkidarainbowstwilighteyes08paul_shinn
    • 14
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    I have to eat six about-to-expire yogurts today. Talk about culture shock.

    • 53
    • LIKES
    MrBob_52njlitigatorKentWGrahamTeeJayRushdxblarssonENG__Whimsical84kidarainbowsthelorlor12______
    • 14
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    I wonder if pandas think we're cute, too.

    • 41
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    RadioNicholevivalacrapnervousrocket__HeathenHassidFlabbergailnjlitigatorrachel2manypawsKarenLyneButler
    • 25
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    My biggest fantasy involves him apologizing to me.

    • 47
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    • 19
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    I can’t wait for Talk Like a Valley Girl Day, fer sure, fer sure! That’ll be grody to the max.

    • 59
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    gypcqueen83njlitigatorkidarainbowspaul_shinnMacAnnabellale_skillsManginaMcCooljeanieville
    • 7
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    An inspirational tweets account unfollowed me after a few hours. Guess they could tell I already have my act together.

    • 50
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    My family wants to eat dinner again tonight. This is getting ridiculous.

    • 42
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    MrBob_52njlitigatorKentWGrahamTKMonikerkimnabqYour_Boy_Dylangoeres_annettemit5_anders
    • 19
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  • amyzesbaugh
      Zesti @amyzesbaugh

    Saw a car with a wreath and candy cane on its grille. Now I feel bad. I usually just give my car a fresh tank of gas for Christmas.

    • 52
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    ApocalypseBnGdpauls62DirtyySouthMesscranky_unfun_1chompy_jrmohamudmohamudnjlitigatorKentWGraham
    • 9
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    haurdCider
@amyzesbaugh

@amyzesbaugh

I have happiness management issues.

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