Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Everybody pause for 3 minutes, I'm going to make a bag of popcorn
Rest in peace little angels
I got 99 chores and I ain't did one - Lay-Z
She doesn't reply to your first 3 texts? Keep trying, stud! If girls love anything, it's persistence
If you're a grown man still yelling at girls from your car, you need to re-evaluate your life
Trimming my own bangs went about as well as you think it would
"Remember habbo hotel? Some guy told me he wanted to pee in my mouth so I left"
A few chunks of fruit in my jam, ok, fine, sure. A strawberry in its entirety? Get your shit together, Smuckers.
First time in Boston, but I've seen The Town like 50 times so I'm basically qualified to be a tour guide
Beyoncé joined Instagram and none of your pictures matter to me anymore
"I morphed mine and Adam Levine's faces together to see what our kids would look like.. They were NOT cute." - Amara Hugar
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
"And you're flossing regularly?" If by regularly you mean once ten minutes before this appointment, then yes I am
We have breaking news: I'm toasted
Thank God you put "work" or "gym" in your status, or else I would have msged you! How embarrassing would that have been!
I think it'd be easier to quit smoking rather than willingly walk away from a bag of chips
local business owner, former siamese twin, cat enthusiast, writer & pathological liar