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I'll always remember November 24 as the day I got to use the word "Pimpmobile" in an obituary.
I got a new job, y'all. I'm really excited with a dash of nervous and a smidge of scared. CHANGE, you know? Brings out all the feelings.
Sometimes I can't figure out if I was born with it or if it's Maybelline.
I'm sorry, but I'm giving up apologizing for Lent.
Blessed are the weirdos, for they shall invade the internet.
I did an obit yesterday that ended with the line "Also survived by his Facebook friends." This is the future, everyone.
I never got to go work with my parents so that's why I don't know how to work.
I downloaded Anne of Green Gables on my phone and I read it one chapter at a time while waiting in lines. Best decision in 2013 so far.
I hope I make out with a really hot Champagne flute tonight.
Be sure to keep an eye out in 2013 for my memoir, "'Yeah, I'll Apply To Grad School Next Year' and Other Lies I Tell Myself".
Thanksgiving > Christmas, forever.
I can't wait 'til half of America moves to Canada so I can keep all the pre-existing conditions to myself.
So if I kick it and my obit says, "Andrea is survived by more than 800 followers", I hope people think I was the leader of a small army.
Have I prepared for the new year? I already flossed my teeth because I know I'll be too drunk to do it later, so I'd say yes, definitely.
I wonder if the 1 out of 5 Americans who think Obama is a Muslim are the dentists who don't recommend Trident.
Do they still pass out those Scholastic book order forms or did the Internet take that away too?