@andreakremer's most faved Tweets...
"I didn't say I wanted JELLY, I SAID I wanted HAM." Life with 3yo often resembles nothing so much as living with a rather unpleasant drunk.
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Either this lady next to me at Panera is on lunch break from a figure skating tournament, or fashion has really gotten away from me.
7
S.O. pants-dialed me. Overheard him checking his voicemail, calling a client. Turns out, inside someone's pants, they can't hear you scream.
7
A short list of things I seem unable to care about: vampires, shows about vampires, actors who play vampires, love lives of vampire actors.
6
The phrase "Senator-Elect Al Franken" makes me feel giddy. Possibly because it paves the way for "President-Elect Jon Stewart."
6
Took kid to see new Disney flick, her 1st movie theatre experience. Unforseen complication: she's not heavy enough to hold the seat down.
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And lo, on the 3rd day of working from home, she arose, showered, clothed herself, and partook of breakfast, and she saw that it was Good.
5
For my screenplay: sister-in-law leans over to peer at a contraption she doesn't realize is a motion-sensitive air freshener that sprays up.
5
3yo at breakfast: "Mommy, go find another man because I'm going to marry Daddy." Me: "Wow, not to put too fine a point on it, eh, Elektra?"
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The amount of time I've spent tweeting in a hospital gown would probably shock you. Did it this morning. Bet you couldn't tell. #beatcancer
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I say instead of pink ribbons, people who want to show their support for breast cancer treatment should have to wear Peter Criss face paint.
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Like the running of the bulls in Pamplona, or the swallows returning to Capistrano, so do I observe the annual symbolic shaving of the legs.
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While I appreciate the Boston-related iPad/iPod jokes, you should all know that the proper Boston pronunciation of iPod is "iPwod."
4
Just made a joke in my head about offering Conan O'Brien my "late-night slot." THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!
4
Given that the only thing I order from fast-food drive-thrus now is coffee, the frequency with which they fuck up my order is alarming.
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