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Well, today I realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob so nothing else is important anymore.
My doctor asked me if I was sexually active and I told her I wasn't even physically active and I didn't get a high five or anything.
Ugh my boyfriend is taking forever to exist
HOLD YOUR HORSES. Love your horses. Remind your horses everyday how much you love them. Feed your horses.
If Ryan Seacrest doesn't call his bedroom the Chamber of Seacrest his whole life has been an absolute waste.
Funny how shampoo bottles weigh like, 2 pounds in real life, but when dropped in the shower they turn into a meteor.
Any movie reviewer who didn't give Life of Pi 3.14/5 stars just wasted their entire career.
So weird that nobody knowles what Beyonce's last name is (NAILED IT)
How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit because I think I could do that
All shoes are technically buy one get one free
It's entirely possible that the person who will be president in 50 years just instagrammed a picture of a cloud.
I live my life in constant fear of being pushed into the middle of a dance circle.
Parks & Recreational Drug Use. #depressingsitcoms
My favourite part of watching a 3D movie is checking to see what the movie looks like without my glasses every 10 seconds.
All I'm saying is that if M&M's poured out of a person after you stabbed them, I'd probably lose my moral compass very quickly.
This is a formal apology to anyone who has ever watched me eat corn on the cob.
I burned 800 calories today by forgetting I had a pizza in the oven!
My mom is the only person who will ever read this. http://instagram.com/andreeahluscu http://favstar.fm/users/andreeahluscu