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Tomorrow TfL unveil their new Olympics preparation posters, consisting simply of the word 'FLEE' against a backdrop of skulls.
"I love the smell of librarian in the morning". #replaceawordwithlibrarian
Private Eye is out today! Buy it now, or get the catch-up service by watching Channel 4 News three weeks from now!
Twerking began/ In nineteen ninety-three/ (which was rather soon for me)/ - Between the end of George Bush I/ And the Wu-Tang's first LP.
The Suffragettes only had one natural enemy, of course, which was the Suffrasharks.
For sale: John Lennon's widow. £40 ONO.
'If you do use the Underground over the next month, we'll know about it. And we'll go apeshit. For Christ's sake, just stay at home.' #tfl
Look, I know we shouldn't care about grammar any more, but I've just read "most harshest" in the Times and am ready to kill and kill again.
Three Wes Andersons walk into a bar. The barman says something wry. The barman is also Bill Murray.
'Onomatopoeia', of course, sounds exactly like someone trying to say 'onomatopoeia'.
Just saw my first G4S-replacement soldier. He was wearing both camouflage gear and a hi-vis jacket. #mixedmessages
I'm in Trafalgar Square at an anti-fascist rally. There is a street performer dressed as Darth Vader who has badly misjudged the situation.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Seating plan for the Last Supper
Last night I met the man who first *scientifically* observed homosexual necrophilia in ducks. Proudest moment of my QI elf life.
QI Elf, Private Eye journalist, panellist on No Such Thing As A Fish - The QI Podcast, and performer in Austentatious, AKA @AustenImpro. All views nonsense.