We have entered an era of optimistic ambiguity as defined by "Call me maybe" and the legal mechanisms of this Supreme Court decision.

I think it was super brave of Miley Cyrus to plagiarize my haircut. I'm not even mad.

Interested in a (paid!) fall reporting internship at MLive in Muskegon? Get in touch. and please RT.

We need politicians who don't see the world in black and white but in 50 Shades of Grey. Spankiest Congress ever.

You guys it's getting hotter out here than it was getting hot in where Nelly was when it was getting hot in there.

Chris Brown got a tattoo of a battered woman on his neck? That's cool. I got a tattoo of Chris Brown on my asshole, but it blends right in.

@cmlife Editor-in-chief @thedresden takes fellow students to task for embarrassing display hosting Michigan State. http://t.co/xDRYIZ6m

RT if sweat

SCANNER TRAFFIC: "Caller needs to have a life ring flotation device removed. Multiple attempts so far unsuccessful."

There are only five things in the entire world that I like. They're all Chex Mix. Sorry, siblings.

Cry into scotch. Drink. I call it "The American."

.@erspamer_matt's review of "Lincoln" makes we really want to see it and then be a smarter, more critical person.  http://cynicritics.com/2012/11/18/review-lincoln/ …

English dad wanted to put on a small car show for his terminally-ill 8-year-old. Thousands came. Awesome. http://t.co/EAu4sUJ6

If a postal clerk is "just mailing it in" is that a positive or negative performance assessment?

Not really the best use of Instagram, but I guess we'll take it. #Curiosity

Headline composition process (as I understand it) 1) alliteration. 2) alliteration didn't work? how about a pun? 3) ADJECTIVE

Delmon Young once struck out swinging at an F-16 flyover.

SORRY THIS IS THE ONLY VOLUME I CAN SPEAK AND/OR TYPE IN SINCE LEARNING ABOUT TACO BELL'S NEW CANTINA BELL MENU. WOWSERS

Interviewed two amazing people today. One responded to a brutal car accident. The other swam to a sinking boat. I ate popcorn for breakfast.

In related news, Cecil Fielder hit $14 on a scratch-off tonight. A family of champions.