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You should try applying some of that makeup to your intellect.
i'm so cute you can kiss my butt, i'm so cute you can kiss my butt
Gadget @myrocki turns boring old speakers into WiFi-enabled sound systems http://www.psfk.com/2013/11/wifi-sound-system-old-speakers.html#.UpYB4hWKYJ0.twitter … via @psfk
I live my life thinking everyone hides things under the floorboards.
Ways to make women happy:
- give them what they want
-withhold so they want some
-tell them they're beautiful.
-orgasms, orgasms, orgasms.
You're supposed to grow old with someone not because of them
I ate all the rules for breakfast.
Sleep...because it's nice to get away from people.
People are so careful with the word, "Hate," but so careless with the word, "Love."
My wife just told me to go to hell, anyone else need anything from Walmart?
WHY THE FUCK ISNT A GROUP OF KANGAROOS CALLED A KANGACREW SMFH
It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
Sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch. I had no idea you thought it was a secret.
Mom, Student, Device Manager, Social butterfly. Knows her Android stuff. Livin' dat life. Loves interesting people & conversations. Confectionery Perfectionary