I'm mostly carbs and sadness

Wow. Republicans spent $55 million to repeal Obamacare. Think about all the guns they could have bought to protect themselves against gays.

I may have just had a feeling.
More news soon.

Thank god I'm a Capricorn and not an Arias

Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle

When people with kids say they don't own a TV, I report them to child protective services.

What if all taxi drivers are on the same conference call?

Not sure I'd describe twitter as a hotbed of mental health

One way I love to workout is not to

#PrayForCNN

Sick how people are using this whole suspect "arrested/not arrested" story to promote agendas.

"Arrested Development" May 26 on Netflix.

I can't remember a time I wasn't waiting for my next meal to start

Everyone should go home tonight and hug their loved ones even though soon enough they'll be back on your nerves.

Met a guy on the flight tonight who hyphenated his last name to include his wife's last name.
I made plans to not keep in touch with him.

On the couch resting up for my big night on the other couch

Omg Walking Dead, Mad Men and Game of Thrones!!!!

Never seen any of them.

If Kurt Cobain were alive today to see how long he's been trending on a mainstream social platform - he'd shoot himself

Really, really hoping to trend when I die.

Girls just wanna have fun.

And arguments.

I'd watch a late night show hosted by Tina Fey if anyone wants my opinion.