Twitter. Where people you don't know are better friends than your real friends.

Still sitting in the corner laughing at all of you. You guys are fucking crazy and I like it.

Got me some one hit wonder weed to go with my one star tweets.

Cause I'm a cool motherfucker that's why and I still don't no how to tweet longer or tumble my tweets into a link or whatever the fuck it is

Twitter is like gay porn. Everybody uses it but no one will admit it.

im still hard from star fucking. i want more.

Just saw an 80 year old woman driving a mini cooper with fucking deer antlers. And I thought twitter was a shocker #onlyintexas.

why didnt any of you warn me about the trending topic link. who the fuck are all those stupid motherfuckers

drinking a bowl and smoking a miller!

Who me? Oh! I was just madstarbating.

I'm 4 followers away from having more than my 16 yr old She is freaking out she has been tweeting for 2 yrs. She says I'm dumb.i blocked her

if all of your tweets have like 300 stars do you even notice if i star it too.

Fuckem if they can't take a joke.

Daddy do you know what I just did? No what? I just sneeze farted. A father has never been so proud of his daughter.

Some people would be really cool if they could just get that stick out of there ass.

if i star you that means i want to fuck you oh wait thats not what i meant to say

My super power is.....SHUT the hell up nobody gives a FUCK!

You just like me for my eyeball.

ok well so what if 90% of who i follow are girls. atleast you know i still like girls

I have to add fuck to my dictionary every time I type it. Stupid ducking smart phone