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Like me, the guy had sprouts, All Bran, yogurt in his grocery cart . Guy with beer, chips & lottery tickets looked like more fun.
Spellcheck wants to change declutter to "declitter." I don't think so!
Ah, almost fall in Florida. Time to shop for orange, plastic leaves.
Congratulations are in order. I didn't check the mailbox on a postal holiday.
And on the seventh day the Lord rested. I'd as soon not wait that long.
I think the universe decided to pile all the sadness in one day in August and be done with it. Probably good planning.
All I ask is to live long enough to use all my address stickers.
If Obama no longer supports Stand Your Ground, he should fire his Secret Service.
"SEND NO MONEY." That's what the envelope said in big letters on the front. It's like they know what I'm thinking. Freaky.
So White House blog refers to Founding Fathers as Founding Founders. How about Founding Dudes?
Mom always burns the popcorn then has to eat it all. Kids finally learn Mom loves burned popcorn.
You ever think of stuffing handfuls of shredded coconut in your mouth till it forms avalanches in your cleavage? Me neither.
Death news hits Twitter fast nowadays. I'm appointing someone to assure mine doesn't post on Twitter until the mirror no longer fogs up.
See how fast Obama can get the marines to trouble spot? Not Bengazi, rain in Rose Garden.
It's got to get more enlightening from here. I just followed William Shatner.
So doing less housework is causing weight gain. Somebody hand Chris Cristie a broom.
How rare is this day? Rarer than a political survey minus contribution request.
That wasn't me. I was sphincter syncing.
Are you ready for the new cable channel? Algorezerra?