Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.

Apple's gay CEO is bringing high tech Mac manufacturing back to the U.S. These are liberal values.

@maura "She's got a million Likes... but no love!"

Facebook makes about $4.39 per user per year. If I can cost them $5 in annoyance every year, I win!

Eagerly awaiting the tech industry's excited blogging about ExxonMobil's quarterly earnings. SO MUCH PROFIT!!!1!1!

Instagram for Twitter: It would send out your tweets in old-timey fonts, making them extra tedious. Just write me the $100m check now.

"Help! I'm being forcibly removed from #OccupyWallStreet because I *refuse* to stop playing the compelling new app from [YOURCOMPANYHERE]!"

Allowing Jenny McCarthy to present at awards shows is like giving airtime to an HIV denier who urges people to share dirty needles.

Now that Apple's the most valuable company in the world: What values got them there? http://t.co/KkHXkcE

Seems Google+ has a 5000-person limit for circles. (Wasn't trying to be an asshole, just putting everyone I don't know into one big circle.)

So: Since President Obama was elected, Guns 'N Roses released Chinese Democracy, Duke Nukem Forever came out, and Bin Laden was killed? Ok!

A billion PCs in the world. 25 million iPads. Facebook starts work on a desktop app. @parislemon says "Ridiculous!" That's tech news.

@rsarver there are good client apps to help with filtering all your messages!

People with Mad Men cartoon avatars: I'm sorry I teased you. Was just confused why you're not still green for Iran. Guess you hate freedom?

I like people getting mad at airlines for snow-relayed delays/cancellations. You think companies that incompetent can control the weather?

@mike_ftw Your mom's so ugly, they made her face the iTunes icon.

Can't wait until Facebook decides to clone Gmail, but with the default setting being that everyone can read your inbox.

At #bonnaroo waiting for Jay-Z to start after Stevie Wonder kicked ass. Anyone I know here? (I'm the guy who's brown. And has no tattoos.)

I'm surprised none of you dorks camped outside of your own house last night, then ran back in to order an iPad.