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"Of all the buttholes in all the towns in all the world, he stuck it mine." #CLSC ~Casablanca
Can't believe all the crusty shit I'm findin in the kitchen. You'd think once you mastered wiping your ass a counter would be easy,damn kids
Wow I made it on the word spreader list. Thanks @confusedlush it's nice to be accused of spreading more than just my butt cheeks!
My #FortuneCookie said Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded by the presiding judge. @versability
@versability I ate a #FortuneCookie it said you've always been a little different, haven't you? Put your clothes back on.
Twitter is like sweet, delicious candy to my brain. I can't thank you all enough for the incredible high you give me.
@yo_shank
They relize how much they'll miss you,and know u won't b close by anymore! U R Luv'd
Goodluck to you!
I ate a #FortuneCookie that said You will be golden showered with luck. @versability
@joerogan
It's delicious & has great nutritional value, unlike sports drinks! Coconut oil is good to cook with 2 & is a good lotion 4 skin
@versability no! I'm the parent of my house and I do it all the time! Hope I stay limber enough 2 escape the home they ditch me in!
@nau_ghty1 awww thanks, not much 2 follow I'm still very new here. I like to observe 4 a while before I jump into things.
@nau_ghty1
I joined 2 follow comedians as well, saw some of your tweets RT'd & had to follow u! I enjoy your tweets as much as theirs!