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Remember when no one was awkward and we were all just either human or dancer.
Dream pop is the color of my soul.
People are fucking weird I don't like them. Go away.
Already nostalgic for a video-less Instagram.
How do you find things you're good at and want to do? All I want to do is get drunk, read and not ever leave my apartment.
Hey internet, how about a 10 year anniversary Where Are They Now special for the cars from the first season of Pimp My Ride?
::puts photo of Jared Leto's hair on 2014 mood board::
Today at work a guy came in asking if there were any murders that happened in his house because a ghost grabbed his butt.
At this laundromat, in case anyone was thinking about striking up a conversation with me-I just sneezed and drooled on myself.
I'm going to eat a cheeseburger in a movie theater wish me luck.
Things I deal w/ @ work: witness said victim was squirting blood out of his chest as he was running down the hallway.
Gay guys think I'm a lesbian, lesbians think I'm straight and straight guys think they have a chance with my best friend.
I turn 32 this week, that means I'm finally old enough to appreciate Matthew McConaughey.
I'm at my best when I'm dancing in a group of white people.
Who wants to help me win the affection of my bread class teacher?
Really annoyed with clever vine videos. So you have a lot of time your hands. Whatever dudes.
Ugh, beards. Gag me with your dick.
32 year old teenage dirtbag
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