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I don't know what more sad: that I just googled the McDonald's menu or that I misspelled McDonald's when I did it.
Just put on make-up to get a root canal in case you were wondering what it's like to be a woman.
Merry Christmas! Because 'Happy Birthday Jesus' makes it too much about him.
'what is a trap queen?' is a real thing I just googled in case anyone's wondering what I've been doing.
Levels of boredom:
Really Super bored
True Detective Season 2
What an amazing and historic day for wedding planners everywhere.
JOB TIP: You can tell your boss to go fuck himself today as long as you follow it up with April Fools.
Kiss me I'm Jewish and highly anxious.
Uptown Funk is growing on me oh god do you think I'm contagious?
'I have to walk to the OTHER side of the mall?!' - me, 5 minutes ago
'It's My Party and I'll look at my phone all night if I want to.'
'He robbed a Jared.' :/
Ten bucks Cupid is totally a virgin.
Looking forward to a 'Tiny Hamsters' 50 Shades of Grey adaptation.
Tinder, but for picking your parents.
For those wondering where I went, I didn't die, I just had a baby! Although, if sleep deprivation can kill you I might die from that. ;)
No one seems thrilled about the small pox I brought to the Thanksgiving pot luck.
I want to do a traditional Thanksgiving but no one in my family wants to rape and pillage with me.
Not ready to define our relationship yet. TIME Magazine's Best Twitter Feeds. Instagram: anjeanettec
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