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If Tila Tequila can deny the holocaust ever happened then we should be able to deny that MySpace ever happened.
Kanye West said being a rapper is like being a soldier or a cop but hey at least he didn't compare himself to Jesus. Oh wait.
Freedom is the ability to unsubscribe from an email list.
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer is one thing but they should really make a song about that woman whose face was eaten by a chimp.
The only thing I think about when I arrive somewhere is how quickly I can leave.
You know you're getting older when you make clothing decisions based on degrees of softness.
If you sleep next to a snorer just punch them in the face it works every time.
Before WebMD we just had our moms.
I can’t wait to hear Jay Z’s hardcore raps on tempeh and kale chips.
who needs parents when there's yahoo answers.
Remember that Jesus died for your ability to taser someone reaching for the same HD TV on sale.
Can we get drones to bring us snacks too.
If I was president it would be Cyborg Monday.
Where do we put the Yeezus in this nativity scene.
It's a shame all these Black Friday people have never heard of the internet.
Anyone who works out today is a monster.
I want to do a traditional Thanksgiving but no one in my family wants to rape and pillage with me.
Wait until Iran finds out they can’t keep their current health care plan.
It's amazing how many men can't commit to a woman but have no problem committing to an arm band tattoo.
Writer. Actor. Blogger. Nerdist. HelloGiggles. TIME Magazine's Best Twitter Feeds of 2012. Instagram: anjeanettec