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I feel like Jesus is gonna cancel on us again.
I will never understand how it’s possible to be a teacher and not curse at your students.
I just got my blood moon. :/
Reminder: don’t get married in Westeros.
Hiding in the bathroom at work is the closest you’ll get to having a spring break.
If Instagram is down then tell me how am I supposed to make my life seem better than yours?
I'm still recovering from looking at all your National Siblings Day photos.
Looks like that Cancel Colbert hashtag really panned out.
I have to really know someone before I can show them what’s on my DVR.
I feel like more people would respect me if I had a sword.
Ventriloquist is just a much longer word for virgin.
I can handle you talking about your gluten-free diet but I can’t handle you talking about how you don’t own a TV.
Sarah McLachlan has a new single out and I imagine it’s a comforting ballad for dogs to commit suicide to.
Tell your boss to go fuck himself and follow it up with 'April Fool's.' Trust me.
when can we stop having to decide where to eat?
America, where science is a choice.
There’s nothing you can tell me about yourself that your e-cigarette doesn’t already say.
Bosses are like parents that don’t love you.
Gwyneth Paltrow really needs some time to focus on Gwyneth Paltrow.
It’s okay Hobby Lobby, it’ll be a fun crafting project for your employees to make their own morning after pill.
Writer. Actor. Blogger. Nerdist. HelloGiggles. TIME Magazine's Best Twitter Feeds. Instagram: anjeanettec