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'I have to walk to the OTHER side of the mall?!' - me, 5 minutes ago
'It's My Party and I'll look at my phone all night if I want to.'
'He robbed a Jared.' :/
Ten bucks Cupid is totally a virgin.
Looking forward to a 'Tiny Hamsters' 50 Shades of Grey adaptation.
Tinder, but for picking your parents.
For those wondering where I went, I didn't die, I just had a baby! Although, if sleep deprivation can kill you I might die from that. ;)
No one seems thrilled about the small pox I brought to the Thanksgiving pot luck.
I want to do a traditional Thanksgiving but no one in my family wants to rape and pillage with me.
All the sexy ebola costumes are taken. :(
I miss sour patch kid Renee Zellweger.
George Zimmerman threatened another man's life today but the guy was white so at least we know he's open to killing people of all races now.
It's sad that the NFL has actually been harder on Ray Rice than the police.
I would be way more embarrassed if photos leaked of me doing something like hate-eating oreos or binge-watching the Kardashians.
My passwords are stronger than I am.
An acid bucket challenge would be much more entertaining.
Christina Aguilera named her new baby Summer Rain so at least she has her stripper name and deodorant scent already picked out.
I'm such a Brazil to my parents.
Not ready to define our relationship yet. TIME Magazine's Best Twitter Feeds. Instagram: anjeanettec
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