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  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Be a writer, kids! Have unfinished homework until you die!

    • 717
    • FAVS
    avdiscountjewfacekillatheleanoverrumizlamissingblakeskristinlgraytrash_addictsiyanpanayotov
    • 1,103
    • RETWEETS
    endquestionmarkYellaphantrajshahchicagoLoriConnellyrhiannaGregoryCiottilethargarianDunlap
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    I'm an Austen in the streets, a Brontë in the sheets. (JK, like most lovers of 19th century lit I don't leave the house or have sex)

    • 926
    • FAVS
    CassGraftonSamanthaJo28darbydashwoodalexjbondtheleanovermissingblakesWaterfallFrozenCompassRing
    • 817
    • RETWEETS
    mistyaiyaiamawordameo02carlynnmarysensible_jenredsaraheadceliaforealiaAbbyCop
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    FYI people writing articles on Millennials- We all knew trophies we got just for showing up were bullshit. We weren't the ones buying them.

    • 552
    • FAVS
    anandsaysjewfacekillatheleanoverCierraWinklerarlan001missingblakesfafefifofufyleftyfem
    • 574
    • RETWEETS
    michaelamiearlan001leftyfembenfromcanadaYvonneMMuBadCathalTCMTurnerPositive_Matt
    bizmichael
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    I spilled microwave burrito filling on my dress and let my dog lick it off. 30/F/Los Angeles. DTF.

    • 636
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillatheleanoverBromanConsulPlaying_DadjelloetDanKCharnleyTroyWidner________benicus_rex
    • 359
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyapocalypse_yesshelbybrrrionashbonesbloodyxoxorcosta42Rjroth224Tomslut
    robdelaney
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    You haven't truly hit rock bottom until you've said to yourself "maybe *I* should do a podcast."

    • 448
    • FAVS
    VirtualRVcaiteejanedingeldeintimeforgoredeyemamaNicestHippoArishaInTokyoKerry_ann16
    • 508
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyAndrewDipperblearyboygreencardbrickburnablesDryDickRandounzippedzipperssirpickell
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    You can tell yourself that Sesame Street is educational but Cookie Monster has lived there for like 40yrs and still can't conjugate verbs.

    • 388
    • FAVS
    vodkatrinajewfacekillaoliviapdxMarcieHumeAynWDoglover2009verydiscontentBeerforBukowski
    • 304
    • RETWEETS
    AaronMHammondDoglover2009wherescarleythe_hedgehog177ImAnAngryBeaverHereInMaineKayleighFisher9daniel_p_jones
    LisaGoodwin1
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    "Maybe I should wear lipstick" - me to myself, upon seeing my dog's gross pink erection this morning.

    • 182
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillatheleanoverPlaying_DadDanKCharnleybenicus_rexlanyardiganWhoCuppedMyCake__rorynotroy
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    pantsmalberthreevisDrafzillaericcartman1122ScottLostbjorkxmontezjustin
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Need help shoving my kid back into the safety of my uterus.

    • 177
    • FAVS
    theleanoverBromanConsulPlaying_DadDanKCharnleyTroyWidner________MissJazzyPhamoxiebloggerJennyPentland
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    KittenMiraclemamasuperpowWhoCuppedMyCake__PrincessHiighWerLevethixjamismithcomicKatisStrophicCindydavid85
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Life is temporary. Try to spend as much of it as you can on the internet talking to people you'd avoid eye contact with in public.

    • 175
    • FAVS
    GunDohLickintiizzzyHumor_Fetishbhavicka8Melmanda8Matteroffact80tinathepharmistwes_bush
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    GunDohLickin69shadesoftaarmorubertazzi__emcothulnicollejewfacekillaidkkcourtneyMannymous
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Uh oh, I read internet comments on a news story and now I have to push a Q-tip into my belly button until I have an aneurysm :(

    • 134
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillatheleanoverBromanConsulPlaying_Dadbenicus_rexWhoCuppedMyCake__truckovariespants
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    mllocyNickadootweetnthesheetsmacherienicole____NotAboutEvejobirujaimewintonfavstar1000favs
    robdelaney
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Flaunting your post-baby body? Big whoop. News alert: everyone's body used to be a baby.

    • 152
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillatheleanoverhillarylodgeFustorThePeoplelemoncurriesPirateWildewoodfortytwostarsWendyWeichentha
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    killgilliganGokerSkybradjgreerPogonophilicelledestreeTheRobertPierceamandarenae7kayskay
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Recently bought The Hunger Games and an Adele CD. What've you guys been up to? I want to know what I'll be into in two years.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    theleanovermissingblakesBromanConsulPlaying_Dadbenicus_rexWhoCuppedMyCake__truckovariespants
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    annabruciferhannahdelawlieEleanorAlysstephernie_317favstar1000favstalibonacidinestonightTimGendron________
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Deactivating your Facebook is the new "I don't even HAVE a TV."

    • 114
    • FAVS
    elle8000jewfacekillaBromanConsulPlaying_DadMayaSoFlyamoonrachy__LukePohjalaWhoCuppedMyCake__
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    celiaforealiafavstar1000favsPrincessMcLeiaJoshua_ArizajesseinmanrobbyberthumeRobDoerzbacherskillzbrecht
    mkpaulsen
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    I think we can all agree that the worst things on earth are slavery, rape as a weapon of war, children who starve to death, and parades.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    EliHansenMusicfragmentarygirlDBwiddaDBDoctor_MandoVM_Vanderhuge_tarheelskid_jewfacekillaBromanConsul
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    jewfacekillaclare_candacedonttellkristiIDreamofJanie____BrockSamson13carnefoxLordCousinJohnkramediggles
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    My husband asked what Vine was while reading a BOOK. Hahaha 1910 called, it wants its intellect strengthening form of entertainment back!

    • 145
    • FAVS
    theleanoverBromanConsulVivicaHearsePlaying_Dadruthyoestbenicus_rexLukePohjalaGeorgieBlaise
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    mariabrian93celiaforealiaNarcissistenBobsJBlogLookJustBecause__tinepostuvanJsSmRentonfunTweeters
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    You know everything about our lazy, shitty generation you need to know when you see someone wish their friend "HBD" on their Facebook wall.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    jewfacekillaBromanConsulPlaying_DadWhoCuppedMyCake__pantserinbersonimchasesbrain____JessicaWhatThe
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    mariabrian93ee_matthewsMarthanow________erinbersonMadeThisUpHawgLegHendrixfavstar1000favsbazzelllwh4__
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Whenever I contemplate suicide, I remember there's a chance that someday Suri Cruise will write a tell-all book and then I choose life.

    • 79
    • FAVS
    theleanoverBromanConsulPlaying_DadWhoCuppedMyCake__rorynotroytruckovariesllr517B_M_Dubya
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    max_rbmcmariabrian93Feliennepantsvlovespemilystewart321HapahiroWoeIsLorna
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    For a sec I thought it said a baby cured HIV & I was really disgusted with my baby who's like, "duhhhh, I'm taking my first steps duhhhh."

    • 97
    • FAVS
    0129_0823theleanoverPlaying_Dadbenicus_rexkatiebobustheDanLawlerokayguy420canadianpride86
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    celiaforealiakgorogoroStevenGallaghe2ColemanSumrallPapaJendocanadianpride86skannamalaidc1421
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Hey kids, instead of giving your mom breakfast in bed on Mother's Day try: letting her fucking sleep, you sunshine-activated hellmonsters.

    • 116
    • FAVS
    aardvarkloungeTheRealJJBurkeTheArcaneHeartlfpetrockalivingianoLoveLee718elizabethlittleamjsew
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    ya_samstercatidle_wifeLoveLee718alishageezamsokoljenniferjune889bogeywebdesignjer_
  • annabeloakes
      Annabel Oakes @annabeloakes

    Wait, why does Garfield hate Mondays? He doesn't even work.

    • 109
    • FAVS
    theleanoverBromanConsulPlaying_Dadbenicus_rexceliaforealiaWhoCuppedMyCake__truckovariespeegrits
    • 57
    • RETWEETS
    TheAndreezceliaforealiafavstar1000favsjnavarrMrDjslickericabasoloitskimhoMeghanOB
@annabeloakes

@annabeloakes

I write movies and television shows, but I have good qualities too.