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Why would I even?
Steve Jobs was just like us. He put his pants on one leg at a time. Except when he put his pants on he changed the world. #rip
Why can't I just be naked everywhere?
The question begs.
Are girls allowed to poop more than once a day? I'm asking for a friend who feels the outers of her asshole breaking like the berlin wall.
Also I may or may not be writing a Valentines Day thingy about my favorite couple Hannibal Lector & Clarice Starling and their true romance.
oh but we can have gay carriages #fml
i just masturbated to something questionable #fml #fb
albuquerque is wet right now and i am going for it
Fucking wizard marmot tell me when I can wear shorts!!! #groundhogday
I really think this is a good a time as any to remind you all that you can suck it.
Paula Deen just admitted she has Type 2 Diabetes. Watch your back, Wilford Brimly. #diet-beat-us #fb
Anyone else try saving time on cleaning by masturbating over their clothes. #2ndbasetweet #fb
Now that Hostess is filing for bankruptcy, what am I going to eat when I hate myself? :(